Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people are of the opinion that putting criminals in prison is not severe enough as a form of punishment. Others, however, believe that imprisonment is one of the most effective ways of punishing wrong-doers. v.1

Many people are of the opinion that putting criminals in prison is not severe enough as a form of punishment. Others, however, believe that imprisonment is one of the most effective ways of punishing wrong-doers. v. 1
‘Crime and punishment’ is rooted in the very fabric of our history and society. The rules that drive the society are meant to be obeyed and breaking them is considered as crimes and hence the society has made an arrangement to punish the offenders to maintain the peace among us. The modern concept of country is based on the primitive society people used to live in and every country has its own sets of laws for people to abide by. Many people consider prison, which was invented as part of our journey towards modernizations, as a proper place for the criminals while others opine that more severe punishment is a better alternative to maintaining the peace in a country.   I believe that prison is the most effective way of punishing wrong-doers. First of all, putting criminals in prisons for their violation of laws was not invented in a day. That came to our society with the pace of time and from the need of a way to punish the wrong-doers. Hence this is an already proven way to punish the criminals and introducing a more efficient way would not be that easy. Secondly, not all crimes and background of criminals are same and thus imprisonment for different time length is very much justified. For instance, someone who broke a law for the first time and a recurring offender should not be punished in the same way even though their nature or crimes is same. Here the imprisonment for various sentences could be an ideal punishment. Thirdly, capital punishment like death sentence is too inhuman and the goal of our judicial system and law is to reform the society not to kill the criminals. The prison as a punishment offers plenty of opportunities to the offenders to remorse and become good citizens. Thus considering the true purpose of our law and order, imprisonment is the best possible punishing arrangement. Some might argue that we should hang a killer instead of letting him live in the prison. But my point of view contradicts with them as I believe that killing a murderer would make us no less than a murderer. We would be guilty of the same crime he has committed. What punishment could be crueller that letting the criminal rot in a jail alone and remorse every single moment of his life thinking about the heinous act he has done? Finally, severe and cruel punishment systems were mostly invented by criminals themselves, especially during the wars. Following those methods to punish a wrongdoer is not justified at all. Our aim is to make the world a better place to live in while not showing mercy to the people who harm others or break the law and hence imprisonment is the best possible form of punishment in my view. To draw the conclusion, the imprisonment is the best way to punish the criminals while maintaining the peace in the society and letting the wrong-doers remorse and become a better person in the future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‘Crime
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment’
is rooted
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fabric of our history and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
that drive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
are meant
to
be obeyed
and breaking them
is considered
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and
hence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
has made an arrangement to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punish
the offenders to maintain the peace among us. The modern concept of country
is based
on the primitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in and every country has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
sets of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to abide by.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
, which
was invented
as part of our journey towards
Possible spelling mistake found.
modernizations
, as a proper place for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
while others opine that more severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is a better alternative to maintaining the peace in a country.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is the most effective way of punishing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
-doers.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
for their violation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
was not invented in a day. That came to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
with the pace of time and from the need of a way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punish
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
-doers.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
this is an already proven way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punish
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and introducing a more efficient way would not be that easy.

Secondly
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and background of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are same and
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
time length is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much justified.
For instance
, someone who broke a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
for the
first
time and a recurring offender should not
be punished
in the same way
even though
their nature or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
is same. Here the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
for various sentences could be an ideal punishment.

Thirdly
, capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
like death sentence is too inhuman and the goal of our judicial system and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
is to reform the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
not to kill the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of opportunities to the offenders to remorse and become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizens.
Thus
considering the true purpose of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
and order,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
is the best possible punishing arrangement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
might argue that we should hang a killer
instead
of letting him
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
my point of view contradicts with them as I believe that killing a murderer would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us no less than a murderer. We would be guilty of the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
he has committed. What
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
could be
Possible spelling mistake found.
crueller
that letting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
rot in a jail alone and remorse every single moment of his life thinking about the heinous act he has done?

Finally
, severe and cruel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
systems were
mostly
invented by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
themselves,
especially
during the wars. Following those methods to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punish
a wrongdoer is not justified at all. Our aim is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in while not showing mercy to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who harm others or break the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
and
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
is the best possible form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
in my view.

To draw the conclusion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
is the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punish
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
while maintaining the peace in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and letting the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
-doers remorse and become a better person in the future.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people are of the opinion that putting criminals in prison is not severe enough as a form of punishment. Others, however, believe that imprisonment is one of the most effective ways of punishing wrong-doers. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
502 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts