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Teenagers are spending an increasing amount of time on the Internet, and this is having a negative effect on their social skills. Do you agree or disagree? v.4

Teenagers are spending an increasing amount of time on the Internet, and this is having a negative effect on their social skills. v. 4
With the advancement of science and technology, adolescents tend to invest in a huge amount of time on the Internet. Although this has a small amount of negative impact, there are many positive impacts that easily eliminates the few negatives. This essay provides the positive effects on the social skills of teenagers. The primary positive aspect is that, adolescents spending more time utilising the Internet can hone their study skills, thereby honing their social skills as well. In other words, improving study skills includes improvising on presentation skills, they tend to become outspoken pupils, and hence their soft skills also tend to develop. This skill development at an earlier age ensures them to grow periodically well in the future. The secondary aspect is that, students are exposed to a wide variety of social apps and sites such as, Facebook, WhatsApp and many more. This helps them to increase their contacts worldwide providing them a global exposure. They try to learn cultural differences and also experience different accents or languages through their contacts. This again, increases their social abilities. The tertiary aspect is that, in the long run, due to a large exposure, they can very well increase their employment opportunities. To give a clear example, recruitment of candidates, nowadays, happen widely through social sites such as LinkedIn and Glassdoor. This proves that improvement of social skills also pave way to employment opportunities. With the above aspects clearly stated, it is therefore evident that adolescents spending more time online improve their social skills for their betterment, and these positive aspects outweigh the negatives.
With the advancement of science and technology, adolescents tend to invest in a huge amount of time on the Internet. Although this has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
impacts that
easily
eliminates the few negatives. This essay provides the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.

The primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspect
is that, adolescents spending more time
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
the Internet can hone their study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, thereby honing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
as well
.
In other words
, improving study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
includes improvising on presentation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, they tend to become outspoken pupils, and
hence
their soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
also
tend to develop. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
development at an earlier age ensures them to grow
periodically
well in the future.

The secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspect
is that, students
are exposed
to a wide variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
apps and sites such as, Facebook, WhatsApp and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to increase their contacts worldwide providing them a global exposure. They try to learn cultural differences and
also
experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
accents or languages through their contacts. This again, increases their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
abilities.

The tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspect
is that, in the long run, due to a large exposure, they can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well increase their employment opportunities. To give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example, recruitment of candidates, nowadays, happen
widely
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
sites such as LinkedIn and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Glassdoor
. This proves that improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
also
pave way to employment opportunities.

With the above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
clearly
stated, it is
therefore
evident that adolescents spending more time online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for their betterment, and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
outweigh the negatives.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Teenagers are spending an increasing amount of time on the Internet, and this is having a negative effect on their social skills. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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