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Teenagers are spending an increasing amount of time on the internet, and this is having a negative effect on their social skills. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.3

Teenagers are spending an increasing amount of time on the internet, and this is having a negative effect on their social skills. v. 3
In this recent era, the Internet is becoming a more popular entertainment tool for the people and many children, particularly, teenagers have been participating in such technologies the most. However, many people believe that this invention has numerous side-effects like they are not interacting with each other and loosing their social abilities. Although I do believe that it has some negative effect, but according to me it is the best way to connect and gain tremendous knowledge through online browsing which I will explain in following paragraphs. Let's begin with the first advantage that through a number of social sites, people are becoming connected with each other and are crossing the national boundaries to go there. In addition, now the world had become a global village. Furthermore, at present they can with any person in any country through which they are going a lot benefit such as opting knowledge about different culture and customs. Hence, I disagree that youngsters are loosing communal capabilities. Another approach that will prove my disagreement from the aforementioned nation is that nowadays competition has become more and more tough and this service is much required for those students and helps them in developing their expertise and provides many results which can solve any problem of the academics through online classes or by number of applications. For example, In the UK, most of the students are learning through online classes because these are reasonable and can be seen anywhere. Therefore, I think such creation is valuable and should be increased. In conclusion, nowadays the internet has been made the treasure for the people and without the no-one can even imagine there a day, specifically, teens as they are acquiring knowledge about many different traditions and learning about their course work as well.
In this recent era, the Internet is becoming a more popular entertainment tool for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children,
particularly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have been participating in such technologies the most.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this invention has numerous
Did you mean "side effects" (=adverse effect, unintended consequence)? Open compounds are not hyphenated.
side-effects
like they are not interacting with each other and loosing their social abilities. Although I do believe that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
according to me it is the best way to connect and gain tremendous knowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
online browsing which I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in following paragraphs.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the
first
advantage that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
a number of social sites,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming connected with each other and are crossing the national boundaries to go there.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the world had become a global village.
Furthermore
, at present they can with any person in any country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
which they are going
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of benefit"?
a lot benefit
such as opting knowledge about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture and customs.
Hence
, I disagree that youngsters are loosing communal capabilities.

Another approach that will prove my disagreement from the aforementioned nation is that nowadays competition has become more and more tough and this service is much required for those students and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in developing their expertise and provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
results which can solve any problem of the academics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
online classes or by number of applications.
For example
, In the UK, most of the students are learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
online classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these are reasonable and can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
anywhere.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
such creation is valuable and should
be increased
.

In conclusion
, nowadays the internet has
been made
the treasure for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and without
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "no-one"?
the no-one
can even imagine there a day,
specifically
, teens as they are acquiring knowledge about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
traditions and learning about their course work
as well
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Teenagers are spending an increasing amount of time on the internet, and this is having a negative effect on their social skills. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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