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Some people say that it is possible to tell alot about a person s culture and character from their choice of clothes Do you agree or disagree v.1

Some people say that it is possible to tell alot about a person s culture and character from their choice of clothes v. 1
The widespread use of technology is very rampant nowadays. One area where some considered it as beneficial is in the food production. Thus, some believed that the used of Science allows the food to be brought in larger quantities with lesser price. While others argue, for this change can be detrimental. On the one hand, people think that through science, our everyday lives will be more easier which includes in the production of foods. As we all know, our world nowadays is evolving into a high tech community. As a result, humans are also adopting with this trend. But there are still some areas of the world where they are far behind with these discoveries. Therefore, food shortage is one of their leading problems. Through the use of machines, more and more food supplies can be produced and transported to other parts of nations where famine is a serious problem. At the same time, some oppose that machineries can give a harmful effect. Widely use of fertilizers and insecticides can cause problems on the farm. This is because chemicals can cause water pollution when washed by the rain. As a result, all fishes and other animals living in the sea will be contaminated. And if people ingest it, this can be noxious for them. Finally, in my opinion, the use of robotics in the production of foods can both give benefit and harmful effects towards human. For example, one of the biggest problem in developing countries is overpopulation. With the rapid growth of population, demands on food also increase. When there's no balance between the supply and demand, shortage of foodstuffs occurs. As a result, more and more people will starve to hunger. That is why in this aspect, it is beneficial, since it supplies a lot of produce to the community in an easy and convenient way. And If not used properly, it could also cost damaged in the agricultural sector as well as to the community. To conclude, the application of modern technology has pros and cons in our society. It is one's job in not abusing the advances of chemicals for it can have serious effects to the surrounding.
The widespread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rampant nowadays. One area where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
considered it as beneficial is in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believed that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
of Science
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to
be brought
in larger quantities with lesser price. While others argue, for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
can be detrimental.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that through science, our everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
will be
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
which includes in the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. As we all know, our world nowadays is evolving into a high tech community.
As a result
, humans are
also
adopting with this trend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas of the world where they are far behind with these discoveries.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
shortage is one of their leading problems. Through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of machines, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
supplies can
be produced
and transported to other parts of nations where famine is a serious problem.

At the same time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
oppose that
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
can give a harmful effect.
Widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of fertilizers and insecticides can cause problems on the farm. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
chemicals can cause water pollution when washed by the rain.
As a result
, all fishes and other animals living in the sea will
be contaminated
. And if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
ingest it, this can be noxious for them.

Finally
, in my opinion, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of robotics in the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
can both give benefit and harmful effects towards human.
For example
, one of the biggest problem in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
is overpopulation. With the rapid growth of population, demands on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
also
increase. When there's no balance between the supply and demand, shortage of foodstuffs occurs.
As a result
, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will starve to hunger.
That is
why in this aspect, it is beneficial, since it supplies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
produce to the community in an easy and convenient way. And If not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
properly
, it could
also
cost damaged in the agricultural sector
as well
as to the community.

To conclude
, the application of modern technology has pros and cons in our society. It is one's job in not abusing the advances of chemicals for it can have serious effects to the surrounding.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that it is possible to tell alot about a person s culture and character from their choice of clothes v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
362 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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