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Task 2: Countries should try to produce all the food for the population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Task 2: Countries should try to produce all the food for the population and import as little food as possible. v. 2
Many people are wedded to the idea that nations should attempt to manufacture all food sources to meet the demand for their own domestic use and minimize the import of these items, in order that the prosperity of countries will be maintained. Personally, I wholly agree with this opinion. It is widely acknowledged that there are two prime reasons behind the self-production of local food in many regions comprise a huge benefit. The fundamental reason is that when stimulating local residents to produce all their food, the government will allocate a great amount of money to improve their technology. The integration of cutting-edge technology into agriculture sector is extremely essential because it accelerates the input materials for the food manufacturing industry. Additionally, accompanying with the development of agriculture, the unemployed rate will be mitigated which may exerts a positive effect on the vigorous growth of local economy. China perfectly exemplifies this circumstance, the government always try to encourage domestic food production, thereby creating more jobs for their citizens. I strongly believe that any countries should alleviate the amount of imported food. Firstly, in many nations people have a tendency to choose some kinds of food which are imported from overseas countries due to the lack of their cognitive abilities. For example, in Vietnam citizens tend to buy imported food instead of local products because they believe that the quality of these items is superior to the commodities in their countries. Consequently, it may pose an adverse threat to the domestic food products. In conclusion, I completely agree that the local authorities should figure out some optimal solution to facilitate the monopoly of their local food as well as restrict the amount of food imported into the inland.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are wedded
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that nations should attempt to manufacture all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
sources to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demand for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and minimize the import of these items, in order that the prosperity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will
be maintained
.
Personally
, I wholly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.

It is
widely
acknowledged that there are two prime reasons behind the self-production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regions comprise a huge benefit. The fundamental reason is that when stimulating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents to produce all their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will allocate a great amount of money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their technology. The integration of cutting-edge technology into agriculture sector is
extremely
essential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it accelerates the input materials for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
manufacturing industry.
Additionally
,
The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompanying by".
accompanying with
the development of agriculture, the unemployed rate will
be mitigated
which may exerts a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the vigorous growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economy. China
perfectly
exemplifies this circumstance, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
always try to encourage domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production, thereby creating more jobs for their citizens.

I
strongly
believe that any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should alleviate the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Firstly
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a tendency to choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
from overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
due to the lack of their cognitive abilities.
For example
, in Vietnam citizens tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe that the quality of these items is superior to the commodities in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Consequently
, it may pose an adverse threat to the domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products.

In conclusion
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
authorities should figure out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
optimal solution to facilitate the monopoly of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as well
as restrict the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
into the inland.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Task 2: Countries should try to produce all the food for the population and import as little food as possible. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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