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TASK 2: Grandparents play a big role in the bringing up their grandchildren. Do you think it is useful for grandparents to be involved? What is your opinion v.1

TASK 2: Grandparents play a big role in the bringing up their grandchildren. Do you think it is useful for grandparents to be involved? What is your opinion v. 1
In the recent decades, grandparents are getting more involved in upbringing of their grandchildren. Some people believe that it is good to have the older members while children are growing up. I strongly agree with this view due to several reasons that I will discuss in greater detail in my essay. Firstly, it is an undeniable fact that parents are the best caretakers for their children. However, rising costs of living compels both the parents to work to meet the ends. In such a scenario, grandparents do come to ones’ rescue as they can nurture and provide a similar care to the children. Taking an example from my own life, since both my parents were working throughout my childhood, my grandparents played a major role in raising me. In fact, they provided me with a better comfort and warmth than my parents could due to their hectic work schedule. Hence, it is truly a blessing to have the grandparents around when children are growing up. Secondly, grandparents can impart good human values that are extremely important in today’s lives for the younger generation. Because this generation has low emotional quotient, staying with grandparents can teach them values such as respecting elders and being compassionate. Studies show that the children who have their grandparents around during their childhood develop faster emotional and social values than the children who are brought up in nuclear families. To conclude, in the progressive society, it is good to have grandparents involved in nurturing of the children as they can take good care of the younger ones and inculcate values that would be beneficial throughout the life.
In the recent decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
are getting more involved in upbringing of their grandchildren.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
to have the older members while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are growing up. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view due to several reasons that I will discuss in greater detail in my essay.

Firstly
, it is an undeniable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the best caretakers for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
However
, rising costs of living compels both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the ends. In such a scenario,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to ones’ rescue as they can nurture and provide a similar care to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Taking an example from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life, since both my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were working throughout my childhood, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
played a major role in raising me. In fact, they provided me with a better comfort and warmth than my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could due to their hectic work schedule.
Hence
, it is
truly
a blessing to have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
around when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are growing up.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
can impart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
human values that are
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
for the younger generation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
this generation has low emotional quotient, staying with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
can teach them values such as respecting elders and being compassionate. Studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
around during their childhood develop faster emotional and social values than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are brought
up in nuclear families.

To conclude
, in the progressive society, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
involved in nurturing of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as they can take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
care of the younger ones and inculcate values that would be beneficial throughout the life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay TASK 2: Grandparents play a big role in the bringing up their grandchildren. Do you think it is useful for grandparents to be involved? What is your opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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