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some people say that there are more disadvantages of having a car than its advantages. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having a car.

Some people claim that there are more disadvantages of the car than its advantages. v. 4
The invention of automobiles is one of the greatest achievement of the technology which is having most compelling effects on human life. However, fewer people consider car not as much useful for mankind owing to drawbacks it brings. I also believe the same because there are many obstacles the people have by owning a car more than the benefits which i will explain in this essay along with its effective usages. To commence with the benefits, by having a car it is convenient for the public to enjoy the personal freedom in the society and they have ease to move anywhere when needed always such as for work, shopping and picnic without depending on the public transport. Moreover, driving a car also beneficial in terms of driving which makes the life of the people more comfortable and this convenient mode of transport takes all hassle free travel arrangements like ticket-bookings for trains and buses and waiting in the long lines. On the contrary, all of these benefits cost the environment most. Driving personal cars contribute to the environmental damage. The first is air pollution as the cars release greenhouse gases for instance nitrogen. According to the U. S Environmental Protection Agency, car accounts for 25% o all greenhouse gasses in the ecology. The second is prices which is sky rocketing everyday. Also every family cannot afford the car as it needs additional cost for maintenance and repair which is quite hard foe most of the people. In addition, motorized vehicles cause traffic jam as well on the roads which impact negatively on the travelling as folks have to spend more time on roads when stuck in traffic jams. Owning car by most of the persons become the reason of the shortage of fossil fuels for the future generations. To conclude, while car is a convenient mode of transport, but it brings disadvantages as well. In my opinion, negative impacts attached with cars vastly outweigh the advantages. this is because it threatens the very existence of mankind.
The invention of automobiles is one of the greatest achievement of the technology which is having most compelling effects on human life.
However
, fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
not as much useful for mankind owing to drawbacks it brings. I
also
believe the same
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
obstacles the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have by owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
more than the benefits which
Did you mean "I"?
i
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in this essay along with its effective usages. To commence with the benefits, by having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
it is convenient for the public to enjoy the personal freedom in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
anywhere when
The adverb 'always' is usually put before the verb 'needed'.
needed always
such as for work, shopping and picnic without depending on the public transport.
Moreover
, driving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
also
beneficial in terms of driving which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the life of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more comfortable and this convenient mode of transport takes all hassle free travel arrangements like ticket-bookings for trains and buses and waiting in the long lines.
On the contrary
, all of these benefits cost the environment most. Driving personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
contribute to the environmental damage. The
first
is air pollution as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
release greenhouse gases
for instance
nitrogen. According to the U. S Environmental Protection Agency,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
accounts for 25% o all greenhouse gasses in the ecology. The second is prices which is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
sky rocketing
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
every family cannot afford the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
as it needs additional cost for maintenance and repair which is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
foe most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
, motorized vehicles cause traffic jam
as well
on the roads which impact
negatively
on the travelling as folks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend more time on roads when stuck in traffic jams. Owning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
by most of the persons become the reason of the shortage of fossil fuels for the future generations.
To conclude
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is a convenient mode of transport,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it brings disadvantages
as well
. In my opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts attached with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
vastly
outweigh the advantages.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it threatens the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
existence of mankind.
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He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay some people say that there are more disadvantages of having a car than its advantages. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having a car.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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