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some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. v. 2
These days, it has become a popular trend to send the aged members of the family to old age homes, as compared to the olden times when elderly parents were looked after with much love and care by family members at home. This essay will explore the benefits and drawbacks that result from this approach. To begin with the positives, one of the crucial advantages of this practice is that the elderly people tend to expand their social circle at such places. Since they stay with their age mates, who are quite like minded, they seem to enjoy spending time with them more often. In contrast, looking at the choc-à-block schedule of working members of the family, they hardly get any time to spend with their ageing parents. So, this causes unrest and loneliness among the aged community. Besides getting along with a group of friends, they receive personalized attention by the health experts employed in the nursing homes. This also reduces the travel time in case of any medical emergency. Nevertheless, staying in care homes, away from the family does present some problems. For instance, some old aged people get prone to diseases and various other health issues when they lose touch from their family. After all, nothing can replace the care given by our near and dear ones. Another significant disadvantage of this practice is that they lose touch with their own family. As the bond developed with close relations for such a long time seems to be fading. This makes them feel barren when it’s their time to get reciprocated with love and care. In conclusion, although care provided by old aged homes to the elderly people is quite beneficial in terms of developing the friend zone and personalized health care by experts, it is important to consider that they lose contact with their loved ones and get prone to mental illness like depression and various other serious ailments.
These days, it has become a popular trend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, as compared to the olden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
when elderly parents
were looked
after with much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members at home. This essay will explore the benefits and drawbacks that result from this approach.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the positives, one of the crucial advantages of this practice is that the elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to expand their social circle at such places. Since they stay with their age mates, who are quite
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
like minded
, they seem to enjoy spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with them more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.
In contrast
, looking at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
choc-à-block
schedule of working members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, they hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with their
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
parents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this causes unrest and loneliness among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
community.
Besides
getting along with a group of friends, they receive personalized attention by the health experts employed in the nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. This
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in case of any medical emergency.

Nevertheless
, staying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, away from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
does present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
prone to diseases and various other health issues when they lose touch from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
After all
, nothing can replace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by our near and dear ones. Another significant disadvantage of this practice is that they lose touch with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. As the bond developed with close relations for such a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
seems to be fading. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel barren when it’s their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
reciprocated with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and care.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
provided by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
to the elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
quite beneficial in terms of developing the friend zone and personalized health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
by experts, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider that they lose contact with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
prone to mental illness like depression and various other serious ailments.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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