Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Talk about the best city/country that you have been to. You should say: - where it was - how long you were there - what you like or dislike about it- and say if you would like to travel again. v.1

Talk about the best city/country that you have been to. You should say: - where it was - how long you were there - what you like or dislike about it- and say if you would like to travel again. v. 1
Over time, people have always been travelling one place to another in order to get familiar with different cultures and make new experiences. In last two decades, technology blurs the boundaries between countries. Hence, everyone can be acquainted with diverse cultures through mediums such as internet, movies, books, and so forth. While this is certainly valuable, the question of whether this approach can be a good alternative for travelling has become more arguable. Although it seems that the new approach will be useful, it cannot provide a unique information and first-hand experience that are achievable by travelling. On one hand, it is undeniable that nowadays, reading books and magazine, watching movie and TV series, and searching through the internet and social media provided manifold avenues to obtain and learn more about different cultures and territories in the globe without any cost. Therefore, those who do not have the chance to travel around the world have the opportunity to find whatever they want to know easily. For instance, if you want to know about the lifestyle of Himba who lived in Namibia, what you need is just to go any search engine like Google and you find plenty of sites about them. Besides, we can learn from documentary films or books. Although knowledge gained online can help people to plan their trip better, it cannot act as a substitute for visiting the country. On the other hand, there is a nuance between simply learning about a society from secondary sources and physically visiting and experiencing it. Researcher findings show that it is necessary to interact with the native people, participate in cultural activities and observe their lifestyle in order to understand the civilization and community completely. Meanwhile, based on my experience, those who visit physically and interact with others in their journey can learn and imbibe foreign cultures and traditions better than the others and they can develop healthy social relationships also. From what aforementioned, it can be concluded that both points of view have their benefits. Although it is possible to learn about diverse cultures and traditions simply by surfing internet or reading books without ever visiting the country and people, travelling and being part of the community provides a holistic knowledge than the simple secondary sources can ever provide.
Over time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have always been travelling one place to another in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new experiences. In last two decades, technology blurs the boundaries between countries.
Hence
, everyone can
be acquainted
with diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
through mediums such as internet, movies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth. While this is
certainly
valuable,
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
the question of whether
this approach can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
alternative for travelling has become more arguable. Although it seems that the new approach will be useful, it cannot provide
'information' is a mass noun (i.e., uncountable). Therefore, the preceding 'a' is probably wrong.
a unique information
and
first
-hand experience that are achievable by travelling.

On one hand, it is undeniable that nowadays, reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and magazine, watching movie and TV series, and searching through the internet and social media provided manifold avenues to obtain and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and territories in the globe without any cost.
Therefore
, those who do not have the chance to travel around the world have the opportunity to find whatever they want to know
easily
.
For instance
, if you want to know about the lifestyle of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Himba
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in Namibia, what you need is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to go any search engine like Google and you find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of sites about them.
Besides
, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from documentary films or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. Although knowledge gained online can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to plan their trip better, it cannot act as a substitute for visiting the country.

On the other hand
, there is a nuance between
simply
learning about a society from secondary sources and
physically
visiting and experiencing it. Researcher findings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that it is necessary to interact with the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, participate in cultural activities and observe their lifestyle in order to understand the civilization and community completely. Meanwhile, based on my experience, those who visit
physically
and interact with others in their journey can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
and imbibe foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and traditions better than the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
others and
they can develop healthy social relationships
also
.

From what aforementioned, it can
be concluded
that both points of view have their benefits. Although it is possible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and traditions
simply
by surfing internet or reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
without ever visiting the country and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, travelling and being part of the community provides
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "holistic knowledge".
a holistic knowledge
than the simple secondary sources can ever provide.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Talk about the best city/country that you have been to. You should say: - where it was - how long you were there - what you like or dislike about it- and say if you would like to travel again. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts