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In recent years many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping Is this a positive or negative development v.11

In recent years many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping Is this a positive or negative development v. 11
A large number of countries are trying to preserve animals in the best way; however, many people argue, that is pointless to expend money, time and other resources for conserving wild animals and there is no place for wild animals. However, I disagree with this view and strongly suggest that we should try to save wild animals in every way possible. Firstly, human for living their life need the ecologically balanced of earth; moreover, animals and plant are the member of the environment. nevertheless, humans stay at the top of the food chain, but it does not mean that animals are not vital for protecting habitats from extinction such as a forest. For example, trees that exist in forest produce oxygen and absorb carbon dioxide from atmosphere that contribute to moderate climate by this process; in addition, protect earth from global warming, so by preserve animals can keep the earth balance, so it is not reasonable people saying the earth does not exist place for protecting animals Secondly, conserving animal is not wasting money and resources as a matter of fact that humans waste much money for fruitless point that are not useful for them unlike animals have a lot of benefits for people and natural habitats. For example, they spend much money and energy on producing drugs such as tobacco that are harmless to people and the environment by building factories and emit carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide to the atmosphere people increase the pace of destruction of natural habitats. Whereas, animals enhance ecologically balanced, even humans provide their food from animals and plants. In conclusion, it is not acceptable that protect animals is wasting money and resources and for conversing them there is no place due to the fact that people need to animal for keeping their life and ecological balance in the earth.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
countries are trying to preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the best way;
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue,
that is
pointless to expend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, time and other resources for conserving wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and there is no place for wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
However
, I disagree with this view and
strongly
suggest that we should try to save wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in every way possible.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
for living their life need the
ecologically
balanced of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
;
moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and plant are the member of the environment.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
stay at the top of the food chain,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are not vital for protecting habitats from extinction such as a forest.
For example
, trees that exist in forest produce oxygen and absorb carbon dioxide from atmosphere that contribute to moderate climate by this process;
in addition
, protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
from global warming,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
by preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
balance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not reasonable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
saying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
does not exist place for protecting
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
animals


Secondly
, conserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
is not wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and resources as a matter of fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
waste much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for fruitless point that are not useful for them unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and natural habitats.
For example
, they spend much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and energy on producing drugs such as tobacco that are harmless to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the environment by building factories and emit carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide to the atmosphere
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
increase the pace of destruction of natural habitats. Whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
enhance
ecologically
balanced, even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
provide their food from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and plants.

In conclusion
, it is not acceptable that protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and resources and for conversing them there is no place due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
for keeping their life and ecological balance in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping Is this a positive or negative development v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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