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talk about one of members that you love most in your family? v.1

talk about one of members that you love most in your family? v. 1
The person in my family I really like and also admire is my mother. She is a very special person and I cannot imagine what I would be without her. Physically, my Mommy is petite. She is only about 5 feet tall, and weighs about 110 pounds. She has fine, black hair and a fair complexion. One thing people often notice is that my mom always takes pride in her appearance. Even now, at the age of 40, my mother is a well dressed, well-groomed and elegant woman, with her fine choice of clothes and matching accessories, jewellery and shoes. Intellectually, my mom always loves learning. Even after her busy day, she won't go to bed without reading the newspaper. She was one of the few members of her family that completed university. She also has many creative and cultural interests such as literature, music and dance. Through her own enjoyment, she passed on this love of culture to all her children, including me. Emotionally, my mom has a heart of gold. All her life, she has been ready, willing and able to help anyone who needs anything, with a smile on her face. In fact, my mom has always been a kind soul and people of all ages respect her as soon as they first meet. I think this is on the ground that she is good-hearted from her core, and her authenticity is what everyone relates to. She has taught me the meaning of being compassionate, loving, kind, helpful, supportive and so much more. In fact, thanks to the unconditional love of both my wonderful parents, I feel I've been truly blessed in this lifetime.
The person in my family I
really
like and
also
admire is my mother. She is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
special person and I cannot imagine what I would be without her.

Physically
, my
In some contexts, this is childish language. Consider alternatives.
Mommy
is petite. She is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
5 feet
tall, and weighs about
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
110 pounds
. She has fine, black hair and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
complexion. One thing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
notice is that my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
always takes pride in her appearance. Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, at the age of 40, my mother is a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well dressed
, well-groomed and elegant woman, with her fine choice of clothes and matching accessories,
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
and shoes.

Intellectually
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
learning. Even after her busy day, she won't go to bed without reading the newspaper. She was one of the few members of her family that completed university. She
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
creative and cultural interests such as literature, music and dance. Through her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
enjoyment, she passed on this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of culture to all her children, including me.

Emotionally
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
has a heart of gold. All her life, she has been ready, willing and able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
anyone who needs anything, with a smile on her face. In fact, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
has always been a kind soul and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of all ages respect her as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is on the ground that she is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
-hearted from her core, and her authenticity is what everyone relates to. She has taught me the meaning of being compassionate, loving, kind, helpful, supportive and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much more.

In fact, thanks to the unconditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of both my wonderful parents, I feel I've been
truly
blessed in this lifetime.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay talk about one of members that you love most in your family? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
277 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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