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Talk about an unusual food you have ate abroad. Please say– Where was it and what was the food? – Did you like or dislike that food? Why? – Why did you decide to try it? v.1

Talk about an unusual food you have ate abroad. Please say– Where was it and what was the food? – Did you like or dislike that food? Why? – Why did you decide to try it? v. 1
One of the highly controversial issues relates to fixed punishment which certain extent people support adequate and same beating regardless of the scandal and factors. Although the rest of people emphasize the roles of several factors such as motivation, condition as the reason of misdeed should be investigated and reflected verdict. In this essay sheds light on both webs arguments and conclude. Above all, some judiciary system manages people’s wrongdoing through fixed abuse. They make claims that this method outweigh its disadvantages. Initially, fixed punishment indicates exemplary penalties and in the result, society incline to avoid breaking rules or doing heinous crime. Secondly, it is a undeniable fact crime and any violent action is estimated negative events by society regardless of motivation and condition of offending. Additionally, pre-determined discipline may aid judiciary organization as deterring legislative step. It is considered that kind of system is able to dwindle crime rate and intensity of punishment. More likely in some occasions person might reflect and involves to offend lawlessness. It is an essential responsibility of advocates to take considering whether a person did it deliberately or accidentally, in other word in order to protect himself/ herself. This could be justice if we differ offender who killed someone deliberately, for example to rub or burger people or killed somebody accidentally when he or she was under attack. The second group of people thinks about fixed beating may deteriorate our society. Due to swift and quick verdict may cause unfair penal decision. Overall variations among criminals and offenders should be investigated and it may help the judiciary process too. Regarding me there is a subtle moment between two options. I guess we could not give a “zero unfair verdict”. Hence we have to be better off make balance and find an intermediary position without any biased. Moreover government should strong education and other relates an area to decline lawlessness’s rate. In conclusion, two points of view have own and sound merits. The legislative system ought to highlight and use both of them split by conditions and occasions.
One of the
highly
controversial issues relates to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
punishment which certain extent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support adequate and same beating regardless of the scandal and factors. Although the rest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
emphasize the roles of several factors such as motivation, condition as the reason of misdeed should
be investigated
and reflected verdict. In this essay sheds light on both webs arguments and conclude.

Above all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
judiciary system manages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
wrongdoing through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
abuse. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
claims that this method outweigh its disadvantages.
Initially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
punishment indicates exemplary penalties and in the result, society incline to avoid breaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
or doing heinous crime.
Secondly
, it is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
undeniable fact crime and any violent action
is estimated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
by society regardless of motivation and condition of offending.
Additionally
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-determined
discipline may aid judiciary organization as deterring legislative step. It
is considered
that kind of system is able to dwindle crime rate and intensity of punishment.

More likely in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "occasions'" or "occasion's"?
occasions
person might reflect and involves to offend lawlessness. It is an essential responsibility of advocates to take considering whether a person did it
deliberately
or
accidentally
, in other word in order to protect himself/ herself. This could be justice if we differ offender who killed someone
deliberately
,
for example
to rub or burger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or killed somebody
accidentally
when he or she was under attack. The second group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
beating may deteriorate our society. Due to swift and quick verdict may cause unfair penal decision.
Overall
variations among criminals and offenders should
be investigated
and it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the judiciary process too.

Regarding me there is a subtle moment between two options. I guess we could not give a “zero unfair verdict”.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be better off
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
balance and find an intermediary position without any biased.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should strong education and other relates an area to decline lawlessness’s rate.

In conclusion
, two points of view have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and sound merits. The legislative system ought to highlight and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
both of them split by conditions and occasions.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Talk about an unusual food you have ate abroad. Please say– Where was it and what was the food? – Did you like or dislike that food? Why? – Why did you decide to try it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
343 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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