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talk about an important lesson you have learned from a family member. explain the significance of this lesson in your life. include details and examples. v.2

talk about an important lesson you have learned from a family member. explain the significance of this lesson in your life. include details and examples. v. 2
In today’s fast-paced world, many people have difficulty with balancing the necessity of their work and private life. This essay will suggest that the reason of this essay is lack of time management and submit courses which teach how to control the time as a viable solution. The main cause of the difficulty with balancing these two important aspects of life is inability to control the time. A lot of people do not pay enough attention on time management, due to this they cannot use their time in the correct way. Briefly, these people undervalue the time and struggle to maintain the balance between job and their lives. Accordingly, it may lead to undesirable consequence, such as the low efficiency of work, bad relationship with a family member or relatives. For example, psychologists say that people who always start their day early and lay late cannot manage their time having it more than others. The most practical solution to this problem is organization of courses related to teaching individual to learn to manage their time. The training improves the performance of people in daily life affecting positively on both aspects. Moreover it benefits the people’s mood, helping to gain the self-confidence. Obviously a confident person can spend their time more correctly. For example, participants of online training which called “gold time” interview about the improvement in their lives after the training course. To conclude, inability to manage the time is the reason of the difficulty with balancing the work and personal life and individuals should take time management training courses in order to solve this problem. It is predicted that balance between work and private life improves after the courses.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have difficulty with balancing the necessity of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This essay will suggest that the reason of this essay is lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management and submit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
which teach how to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as a viable solution.

The main cause of the difficulty with balancing these two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is inability to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
attention on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management, due to this they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the correct way.
Briefly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
undervalue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and struggle to maintain the balance between job and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Accordingly
, it may lead to undesirable consequence, such as the low efficiency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
relationship with a family member or relatives.
For example
, psychologists say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their day early and lay late cannot manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
having it more than others.

The most practical solution to this problem is organization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
related to teaching individual to learn to manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the performance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
affecting
positively
on both aspects.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
it benefits the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
mood, helping to gain the self-confidence.
Obviously
a confident person can spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
more
correctly
.
For example
, participants of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
which called “gold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time”
interview about the improvement in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
course.

To conclude
, inability to manage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is the reason of the difficulty with balancing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and individuals should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
in order to solve this problem. It
is predicted
that balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay talk about an important lesson you have learned from a family member. explain the significance of this lesson in your life. include details and examples. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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