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talk about a place you enjoy visiting when you where a child. describe place explain why you enjoyed it v.1

talk about a place you enjoy visiting when you where a child. describe place explain why you enjoyed it v. 1
Nowadays, disciplining children through physical penalty, such as smacking is trendy. It is claimed that smacking is an effective way to control children's behaviour by certain demographics of society. This article will discuss that disciplining children by physical punishment such as smacking is a completely unacceptable method, on account of some potential causes of the punishment. On the other hand, some people insist on using physical violence to change their children's acts. Many parents might think that pain helps children to maintain their behaviour in a good way. Moreover, as per their thoughts, the fear makes children's overwhelming desires reduce. For example, when a child spoiled behaves, their parents may slowly smack their bottom to punish them. Although it is not the best way, some parents believe that it is a good method and keep using physical penalty. Physical punishment is completely hazardous and preposterous. Smacking whose severity is high would be able to give some physical damages to children. Moreover, physical punishment such as smacking may cause some mental issues will be able to affect children's future. The children have grown up with smacking may behave to their children in the same way. Overall, smacking might be harmful both physically and mentally to children. In conclusion, the idea that physical punishment such as smacking to discipline children is absolutely inappropriate has been discussed in this essay by being supported by some examples. In my opinion, smacking absolutely is not a good solution to control children's tactless behaviour due to some potential risks.
Nowadays, disciplining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
penalty, such as smacking is trendy. It
is claimed
that smacking is an effective way to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
by certain demographics of society. This article will discuss that disciplining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
such as smacking is a completely unacceptable method, on account of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential causes of the punishment.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
insist on using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
violence to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
acts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parents might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that pain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to maintain their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way.
Moreover
, as per their thoughts, the fear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
overwhelming desires
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
.
For example
, when a child spoiled behaves, their parents may
slowly
smack their bottom to punish them. Although it is not the best way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents believe that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
method and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
penalty.

Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is completely hazardous and preposterous. Smacking whose severity is high would be able to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
damages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
such as smacking may cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mental issues will be able to affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
future. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have grown up with smacking may behave to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the same way
.
Overall
, smacking might be harmful both
physically
and mentally to children.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
such as smacking to discipline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
absolutely
inappropriate has
been discussed
in this essay by
being supported
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
examples. In my opinion, smacking
absolutely
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solution to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
tactless
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay talk about a place you enjoy visiting when you where a child. describe place explain why you enjoyed it v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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