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Writing task 1: The chart below shows the percentage of female members of parliament in 5 European countries from 2000 to 2012 v.1

Writing task 1: The chart below shows the percentage of female members of parliament in 5 European countries from 2000 to 2012 v. 1
Class distinctions are an intrinsic element of human relations, but many today worry over the drastically widening gap between rich and poor. In my opinion, in order to have a happy society, there must be a more equal distribution of income. The main reason that these economic reforms would make society happier is by diffusing personal frustrations. The less wealthy often feel resentful and insecure about their place in life. This has a number of symptoms ranging from relatively benign unhappiness to deep depression, and takes a collective toll on individuals, families and societies. In the most extreme examples, mass shootings in the United States are invariably undertaken by poor, white males who feel left behind economically. The net impact of lifting people out of poverty would be a boon to everyday families as well as society at large. Furthermore, if people no longer had to stress and work themselves to the bone to make ends meet, new outlets to contribute more to society would open up. They could volunteer for a charity, if they have an altruistic bent, take up an art, spend more time being a dedicated family member, or even set aside time to try to innovate in their vocation. Small-scale parallels for this exist already in the form of scholarships given to underprivileged students who are then able to get degrees and contribute across a variety of disciplines to making society happier in general. In conclusion, there is little doubt that in the 21st century income inequality has reached a level that causes extreme unrest among the general population and distributing capital more evenly would remedy this. Countries ought to look closely at recent proposals for a universal basic income.
Class
distinctions are an intrinsic element of human relations,
but
many
today
worry over the
drastically
widening gap between rich and poor. In my opinion, in order to have a happy
society
, there
must
be a more equal distribution of income.

The main reason that these economic reforms would
make
society
happier is by diffusing personal frustrations. The less wealthy
often
feel resentful and insecure about their place in life. This has a number of symptoms ranging from
relatively
benign unhappiness to deep depression, and takes a collective toll on individuals, families and
societies
. In the most extreme examples, mass shootings in the United States are
invariably
undertaken by poor, white males who feel
left
behind
economically
. The net impact of lifting
people
out of poverty would be a boon to everyday families
as well
as
society
at large.

Furthermore
, if
people
no longer had to
stress
and work themselves to the bone to
make
ends
meet
, new outlets to contribute more to
society
would open up. They could volunteer for a charity, if they have an altruistic bent, take up an art, spend more time being a dedicated family member, or even set aside time to try to innovate in their vocation.
Small
-scale parallels for this exist already in the form of scholarships
given
to underprivileged students who are then able to
get
degrees and contribute across a variety of disciplines to making
society
happier
in general
.

In conclusion
, there is
little
doubt that in the 21st century income inequality has reached a level that causes extreme unrest among the general population and distributing capital more
evenly
would remedy this. Countries ought to look
closely
at recent proposals for a universal basic income.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Writing task 1: The chart below shows the percentage of female members of parliament in 5 European countries from 2000 to 2012 v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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