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Describe your visit to a garden. Location of the gardenWhen you visitedWhat facilities are availableWhat you liked about the garden v.1

Describe your visit to a garden. Location of the gardenWhen you visitedWhat facilities are availableWhat you liked about the garden v. 1
Teaching methodologies have changed over time, however, it had always been of utmost importance. In modern times, a section of society believes that imparting education to different genders separately brings more merits while others trust that co-education is more beneficial. This writing will shed some light on both of these aspects. Separate educational institutions have a plethora of advantages. Firstly, different genders have different levels of grasping power owing to their different biological mechanism and they need to be taught using different methods. To exemplify, girls learn better with the visuals while boys feel more comfortable with logical teaching techniques. Secondly, they have varied needs of education. For instance, girls prefer to become doctors, on the other hand, boys like to explore the engineering field. Thirdly, due to biological hormones, opposite genders get more attracted to each other physically and thus might not concentrate on their studies. Hence, a different curriculum for different genders should be implemented. On the flip side of it, mixed schools are more realistic and practical as we do not have two different worlds for two different genders. After pursuing some degree, one has to go back to the world, having both of the genders and then they eventually need to work together. If they have learned how to interact with different personalities, they will do better. For example, boys from the suburbs or villages are more anxious while interacting with girls in the working environment, especially in India, as they have different schools for girls. Additionally, diverse people would have better discussions which give a unique blend in group studies. To exemplify, different software product companies prefer to build a team with varied origins, genders and education levels to make their products. Therefore, co-education is also very valuable. To conclude, both aspects of teaching have their own unique merits. These are two different sides of the same coin. Different institutes for different genders helps schools to personalise their curriculum as per specific genders. However, since mixed schooling seems to be more practical to society, I would prefer the latter option.
Teaching methodologies have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over time,
however
, it had always been of utmost importance. In modern times, a section of society believes that imparting education to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
genders
separately
brings more merits while others trust that co-education is more beneficial. This writing will shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on both of these aspects.

Separate educational institutions have a plethora of advantages.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
genders have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
levels of grasping power owing to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
biological
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mechanism and
they need to
be taught
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
methods. To exemplify,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
learn better with the visuals while boys feel more comfortable with logical teaching techniques.
Secondly
, they have varied needs of education.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
prefer to become doctors,
on the other hand
, boys like to explore the engineering field.
Thirdly
, due to biological hormones, opposite genders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more attracted to each other
physically
and
thus
might not concentrate on their studies.
Hence
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
curriculum for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
genders should
be implemented
.

On the flip side of it, mixed schools are more realistic and practical as we do not have two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
worlds for two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
genders. After pursuing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
degree, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
go back to the world, having both of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
genders and
then they
eventually
need to work together. If they have learned how to interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
personalities, they will do better.
For example
, boys from the suburbs or villages are more anxious while interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
in the working environment,
especially
in India, as they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
schools for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
.
Additionally
, diverse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would have better discussions which give a unique blend in group studies. To exemplify,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
software product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
prefer to build a team with varied origins, genders and education levels to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their products.
Therefore
, co-education is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
valuable.

To conclude
, both aspects of teaching have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
unique merits. These are two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
sides of the same coin.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Different
institutes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
genders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
schools to
Possible spelling mistake. 'personalise' is British English.
personalise
their curriculum as per specific genders.
However
, since mixed schooling seems to be more practical to society, I would prefer the latter option.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Describe your visit to a garden. Location of the gardenWhen you visitedWhat facilities are availableWhat you liked about the garden v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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