Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

t is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views v.1

t is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. 1
Some argue that performing arts are as essential as other subjects and even more to primary school children. This essay agrees with that statement and will first discuss how taking part in music, art or drama is a means for a child to express themselves and then talk about how it could help students explore unconventional career paths, followed by a reasoned conclusion. Art has long been a form of expression and has helped many young kids evolve. Most students, especially those in primary school are often very shy and find it difficult to open up to others. In such circumstances, they look for a means to express themselves and seek a safe outlet to do so which they find in the performing arts. For example, a study by Queen's University found that 62% of students who participated in music, art and drama felt more confident and relaxed around people. Another reason why the arts are as crucial as mathematics and science is because it gives young children a chance to explore alternative career paths. Some students are extremely gifted in dancing and painting and developing these skills at a young age is necessary if they decide to pursue it professionally later on. To illustrate, Elton John and John Legend who are both very talented musicians, admitted that their love for the profession stemmed from music classes in elementary school. In conclusion, music, art and drama are as pivotal as regular subjects because it assists children in overcoming their social fears and helps them realize their artistic dreams.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are as essential as other subjects and even more to primary school children. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with that statement and will
first
discuss how taking part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
or drama is a means for a child to express themselves and then talk about how it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
explore unconventional career paths, followed by a reasoned conclusion.

Art has long been a form of expression and has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young kids evolve. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
especially
those in primary school are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
shy and find it difficult to open up to others. In such circumstances, they look for a means to express themselves and seek a safe outlet to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
which they find in the performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
For example
, a study by Queen's University found that 62% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who participated in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and drama felt more confident and relaxed around
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Another reason why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are as crucial as mathematics and science is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives young children a chance to explore alternative career paths.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
extremely
gifted in dancing and painting and developing these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
at a young age is necessary if they decide to pursue it
professionally
later on. To illustrate, Elton John and John Legend who are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
talented musicians, admitted that their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for the profession stemmed from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
classes in elementary school.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and drama are as pivotal as regular subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it assists children in overcoming their social fears and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them realize their artistic dreams.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay t is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts