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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.6

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 6
Some argue that certain people are born talented to be a sportsperson or a musician, while others say that anybody can be trained to become an athlete or give musical performance. Although innate people require little guidance to master their field, I believe that by practicing activities anyone can learn these skills. On the one hand, people who are naturally talented need little support from an expert to excel in sports or in music. That is to say, when people taught by an experienced person their inborn talent will help them to grasp tips and techniques faster. Once they implement these strategies, they can be a master in their field. For instance, Lata Mangeshkar, is known as the nightingale of India, because she has been gifted with a melodious voice by birth, and with guidance from her guru she has won many national and international awards. However, I believe that it is not necessary that people who are born talented perform outstandingly, as individuals can learn skills anytime. On the other hand, it is thought that children can be taught to learn any sport or music by doing these activities on a daily basis. In other words, non-talented people will learn slowly but gradually they will learn the art of playing the game. If they dedicatedly perform everyday under expert guidance, they can surpass people are born with those skills. To illustrate, in the recent football league many of the players were trained to play football, as novices they won the league against the team who had talented football players. I believe this school of thought is preferable to me because if people have the zeal to learn and dedicate time to practise, they can outperform talented people. In conclusion, although talented people need less guidance to be a champion in their field, performing sports or musical activities on a daily basis will help children to learn and play even if they are not talented.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are born
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
to be a sportsperson or a musician, while others say that anybody can
be trained
to become an athlete or give musical performance. Although innate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guidance
to master their field, I believe that by practicing activities anyone can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
naturally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
support from an expert to excel in sports or in music.
That is
to say, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
taught by an experienced person their inborn talent will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to grasp tips and techniques faster. Once they implement these strategies, they can be a master in their field.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lata
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mangeshkar
,
is known
as the nightingale of India,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she has
been gifted
with a melodious voice by birth, and with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guidance
from her guru she has won
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
national and international awards.
However
, I believe that it is not necessary that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are born
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
perform
outstandingly
, as individuals can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
anytime.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that children can
be taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
any sport or music by doing these activities on a daily basis.
In other words
, non-talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
slowly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
gradually
they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the art of playing the game. If they
Possible spelling mistake found.
dedicatedly
perform everyday under expert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guidance
, they can surpass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are born
with those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. To illustrate, in the recent football league
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the players
were trained
to play football, as novices they won the league against the team who had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
football players. I believe this school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is preferable to me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the zeal to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
and dedicate time to
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
, they can outperform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guidance
to be a champion in their field, performing sports or musical activities on a daily basis will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
and play even if they are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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