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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.3

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 3
In general, the common belief among people is that to achieve greater heights in certain field one is not just required to have training and practise, but also, a certain inbuilt talent which provides them the edge over the other competitor. Stating that, let's discuss in detail about the concept of belief to have talent or claim to teach and consistent practise; which is important for a person to become a professional in a certain field of play. I do partially agree with the concept of belief to state that a person needs certain born talents to excel in his career path. Because, each one is born with certain individual skills that separates them from another person. But, is that the only criteria say a particular person is good in sports or music? Maybe true or maybe not! For example, let us take the famous Olympian of the decade, Michael Phelps. He is said to have a streamlined body with additional wing extensions along his side body that provides him the needed advantage to seamlessly move through water. Well, this is a perfect example to say that some people are both with talents. But, in this case, it is his coach who identified his physical appearance as an advantage for water sports and trained him all the way to glory. It is said that height and good physical posture is said to be an advantage in the game of basketball and volleyball. Another theory, it is believed only a person can be called a good singer if he is gifted with a very good voice. But, we do have examples like Allen Iverson, one of basketball legends who took his side to the Championship was not tall enough and Oscar winning singer AR Rahman was not a good singer, but is portrayed the Mozart of music and singing. Based on the above facts, I would like to conclude with my opinion stating that special skill set and born talents are necessary to become a best in a particular field, but, it is in how we find and channelise it in the right way to become a professional in it. It is neither all children can be trained to achieve anything, nor person with the born talent can be a great personality. Both traits are a mutual combination that needs to be found right to get the best results.
In general
, the common belief among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
that to achieve greater heights in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
field one is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
required to have training and
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
inbuilt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
which provides them the edge over the other competitor. Stating that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
's discuss in detail about the concept of belief to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
or claim to teach and consistent
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
; which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to become a professional in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
field of play.

I do
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the concept of belief to state that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
born
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
to excel in his career path.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, each one
is born
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that separates them from another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
criteria say a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
in sports or music? Maybe true or maybe not!

For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us take the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Olympian of the decade, Michael Phelps. He
is said
to have a streamlined body with additional wing extensions along his side body that provides him the needed advantage to
seamlessly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
through water. Well, this is a perfect example to say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are both with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
in this case
, it is his coach who identified his physical appearance as an advantage for water sports and trained him all the way to glory.

It
is said
that height and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
physical posture
is said
to be an advantage in the game of basketball and volleyball. Another theory, it
is believed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can
be called
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
singer if he
is gifted
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
voice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, we do have examples like Allen Iverson, one of basketball legends who took his side to the Championship was not tall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and Oscar winning singer AR Rahman was not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
singer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is portrayed
the Mozart of music and singing.

Based on the above facts, I would like
to conclude
with my opinion stating that special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
set and born
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
are necessary to become
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best in a particular field,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, it is in how we find and
Possible spelling mistake. 'channelise' is British English.
channelise
it in the right way to become a professional in it. It is neither all children can
be trained
to achieve anything, nor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with the born
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
can be a great personality. Both traits are a mutual combination that needs to
be found
right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the best results.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
398 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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