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Who would you like to go on a trip abroad with? Describe this person and say why he/she would be a good travel companion for you. v.2

Who would you like to go on a trip abroad with? Describe this person and say why he/she would be a good travel companion for you. v. 2
Most of the nation today, parents are capable of deciding which schools they want to send their children to, single-sex academy or co-educational academy. As s result, some think that going to single-sex academy may cause children some drawbacks when they grow older. I partly agree with this perspective and the essay will discuss on both sides. Everything happens for a reason and why people say that children going to single-sex schools have disadvantages later in life. First of all, As for a girl or a boy, when not contacting a friend of the opposite sex might make the lose the capability of communication when they get out of school and start to live in a real world. It causes them some troubles when working and talking with the opposite-gender person, that they may not understand them and even form a fear of those people. Secondly, while other children who go to mixed schools have an opportunity to learn many new things from their opposite-gender friends as boys teach girls sports and girls help boys in some subjects, or they can support each other in any situation. Moreover, this also helps them not to be contradicted with any religious beliefs like Islamic belief. Otherwise, they are taught to respect their opposite gender by both teachers and parents. from the other perspective, going to single-sex schools have some specific upsides that only children can receive. As a child when receiving a single-sex education, they are able to concentrate in their study rather than being interrupted by love and bullies in school. For instance, if a girl ever falls in love with a boy, they will never pay attention to her study and so will the boys. In conclusion, although in some countries, single-sex schools are not common, and do not give parents many options to choose as being lack of budget. However, because of not being very common, i still a green light to those supporting co-educational schools as for a brighter future of children.
Most of the nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, parents are capable of deciding which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to, single-sex academy or co-educational academy. As s result,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that going to single-sex academy may cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks when they grow older. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this perspective and the essay will discuss on both sides.

Everything happens for a reason and why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
going to single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have disadvantages later in life.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, As for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boy
, when not contacting a friend of the opposite sex might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
Did you mean "loose" (adjective) or "loss" (noun)?
lose
the capability of communication when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a real world. It causes them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
troubles when working and talking with the opposite-gender person, that they may not understand them and even form a fear of those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Secondly
, while other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who go to mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have an opportunity to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new things from their opposite-gender friends as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
sports and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
subjects, or they can support each other in any situation.
Moreover
, this
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them not to
be contradicted
with any religious beliefs like Islamic belief.
Otherwise
, they
are taught
to respect their opposite gender by both teachers and parents.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
from
the other perspective, going to single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific upsides that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can receive. As a child when receiving a single-sex education, they are able to concentrate in their study
rather
than
being interrupted
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and bullies in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
For instance
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
ever falls in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boy
, they will never pay attention to her study and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
will the boys.

In conclusion
, although in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are not common, and do not give parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options to choose as being lack of budget.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
still
a green light to those supporting co-educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as for a brighter future of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Who would you like to go on a trip abroad with? Describe this person and say why he/she would be a good travel companion for you. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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