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What is the most important or memorable writing, poem, or letter you have written and why is it important to you? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v.1

What is the most important or memorable writing, poem, or letter you have written and why is it important to you? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 1
Constant migration to the big cities has become a common phenomenon all over the world. To prevent this, national authorities are instigating industries and businesses to move to the suburbs. Personally, I am in favour of that although, this trend has minor drawbacks, the positive outcomes certainly overweigh them. There are several advantages to show it is wise for governments to implement this plan. The most important aspect is the development of the regional areas. Setting up of the enterprises in the rural area will help to develop the basic infrastructures like transportation facility, electricity and road in the rural areas, and that would enhance the living standard as well. Moreover, pollution is the biggest concern in the cities these days and the smoke from the chimneys of manufacturing firms is one of the major reasons. Therefore, environmental and noise pollution can be controlled by shifting industries in rural areas. For instance, a recent survey conducted by an organization shows 35% of air pollution caused in Beijing is because of factories the government. Finally, relocating industries to the suburbs can alleviate the burden of congestion in towns to some extent and that would leave enormous space to improve the quality of residents' accommodation in cities. Therefore, a satisfied quality of life would ensure if fewer vehicles and fewer people in one area. I do appreciate that some people think differently, saying that the industrialization of villages needs to use the various kinds of resources such as forest, water resources, which will cause the environmental degradation like deforestation, climate change and much more. Furthermore, the gradual increase in the number of population in such rural areas will increase the crime rate. However, in my opinion, this problem can be solved to a great extent by ensuring proper waste management and security monitor. In conclusion, in spite of a few drawbacks, the idea of starting new ventures in non-urban areas can be a great solution to stop the human migration and bring equal prosperity and growth in all parts of the nation.
Constant migration to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities has become a common phenomenon all over the world. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this, national authorities are instigating industries and businesses to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the suburbs.
Personally
, I am in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of that although, this trend has minor drawbacks, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes
certainly
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
them.

There are several advantages to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
it is wise for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to implement this plan. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect is the development of the regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Setting up of the enterprises in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to develop the basic infrastructures like transportation facility, electricity and road in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, and that would enhance the living standard
as well
.
Moreover
, pollution is the biggest concern in the cities these days and the smoke from the chimneys of manufacturing firms is one of the major reasons.
Therefore
, environmental and noise pollution can
be controlled
by shifting industries in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted by an organization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
35% of air pollution caused in Beijing is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of factories the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Finally
, relocating industries to the suburbs can alleviate the burden of congestion in towns to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent and that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
enormous space to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of residents' accommodation in cities.
Therefore
, a satisfied quality of life would ensure if fewer vehicles and fewer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in one area.

I do appreciate that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
differently
, saying that the industrialization of villages needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the various kinds of resources such as forest, water resources, which will cause the environmental degradation like deforestation, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and much more.
Furthermore
, the gradual increase in the number of population in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
will increase the crime rate.
However
, in my opinion, this problem can
be solved
to a great extent by ensuring proper waste management and security monitor.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
a few drawbacks, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of starting new ventures in non-urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can be a great solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the human migration and bring equal prosperity and growth in all parts of the nation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay What is the most important or memorable writing, poem, or letter you have written and why is it important to you? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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