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"Prevention is better than cure. " Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.26

"Prevention is better than cure. " Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. with this statement? v. 26
In the last few decades, many health organizations stated to spread awareness of certain pandemic diseases and they believe that prevention is the best cure. While others claim that a large proportion of revenue is needed to start alertness programs. In my view, I completely agree that preventive measures are essential to reduce the advance of deathly diseases and control the spread of viral infections from one another. Firstly, not all countries can afford to have spare money to be spent on health educations; however, to tackle such conditions all nations collaboratively established World Health Organization to help in educating all the people in case of emergencies. In addition, rich countries donate huge funds to aid the poor nations and protect people in adverse situations. Needless to say, raising funds and allocating spare allowances can help health organizations educate others. Secondly, another pivotal aspect is that well-being, education should be encouraged from childhood for children to explain the importance of well-being care. Furthermore, underprivileged countries and illiterate people do not understand, so education should be mandatory. For example, WHO organization played a key role in spreading understanding across globe to reduce the transmission of Covid-19 pandemic. Hence, education is key for medical emergencies and prevent million of lives from catching deadly diseases. In conclusion, we can clearly understand that every country should allocate funds for both local and global medical services. Finally, the role of medical organizations and institutes play a key role in social information and they are too dire to ignore.
In the last few decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
stated to spread awareness of certain pandemic
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
diseases and
they believe that prevention is the best cure.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others claim that a large proportion of revenue
is needed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
alertness programs. In my view, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that preventive measures are essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the advance of deathly diseases and control the spread of viral infections from one another.

Firstly
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can afford to have spare money to
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
;
however
, to tackle such conditions all nations
collaboratively
established World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Organization
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in educating all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in case of emergencies.
In addition
, rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
donate huge funds to aid the poor nations and protect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in adverse situations. Needless to say, raising funds and allocating spare allowances can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
educate others.

Secondly
, another pivotal aspect is that well-being,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
be encouraged
from childhood for children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the importance of well-being care.
Furthermore
, underprivileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and illiterate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not understand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be mandatory.
For example
, WHO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
played a key role in spreading understanding across globe to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the transmission of Covid-19 pandemic.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is key for medical emergencies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
from catching deadly diseases.

In conclusion
, we can
clearly
understand that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should allocate funds for both local and global medical services.
Finally
, the role of medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
and institutes play a key role in social
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
information and
they are too dire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay "Prevention is better than cure. " Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. with this statement? v. 26

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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