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Supermarkets should only sell food produced from within their own country rather than imports from overseas. What are your opinions on this? v.7

Supermarkets should only sell food produced from within their own country rather than imports from overseas. What are your opinions on this? v. 7
At present days, some convenience store's owners compute that it is beneficial for them to produce feed then buy it from other areas. In my point of view, if they choose this way of doing business this will be more preferable as well as thriftily for them selling their produced goods. On the one side of the argument, there are people who hold the option that importing eats has a negative effect on the local culture. This can be seen in countries such as Korea where exported snacks have become one of the integral parts of their lifestyle, then traditional meals which are cooked at homes. Moreover, people did get addicted to these kind of products, as a result, they are not aware cooking traditional dishes. Some would claim that this is a natural part of the economy as well as industry in an increasingly worldwide, so supermarkets should not sell all food in own countries. The second reason why majority of shop managers do not want to import fare because of its extremely high price. Why is it so costly? As, currently, many cooking imports, such as exotic fruits, are transported thousands of miles by road, sea or even air, making the product more expensive to buy. Despite the fact that the tendency of snack exports has existed for many decades, beyond the shadow of a doubt, I can say that a reduction would bring significant financial and environmental gains as well. To sum up, if meal imports are reduced, it would be better for the culture and atmosphere.
At present days,
some
convenience store's owners compute that it is beneficial for them to produce feed then
buy
it from other areas. In my point of view, if they choose this way of doing business this will be more preferable
as well
as
thriftily
for them selling their produced
goods
.

On the one side of the argument, there are
people
who hold the option that importing eats has a
negative
effect on the local culture. This can be
seen
in countries such as Korea where exported snacks have become one of the integral parts of their lifestyle, then traditional meals which
are cooked
at homes.
Moreover
,
people
did
get
addicted to
these kind
of products,
as a result
, they are not aware cooking traditional dishes.

Some
would claim that this is a natural part of the economy
as well
as industry in an
increasingly
worldwide,
so
supermarkets should not sell all food in
own
countries.

The second reason why
majority of
shop managers do not want to import fare
because
of its
extremely
high price. Why is it
so
costly? As,
currently
,
many
cooking imports, such as exotic fruits,
are transported
thousands of miles by road, sea or even air, making the product more expensive to
buy
. Despite the fact that the tendency of snack exports has existed for
many
decades, beyond the shadow of a doubt, I can say that a reduction would bring significant financial and environmental gains
as well
.

To sum up, if meal imports are
reduced
, it would be better for the culture and atmosphere.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Supermarkets should only sell food produced from within their own country rather than imports from overseas. What are your opinions on this? v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
260 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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