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Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is individuals responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is individuals responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. v. 1
It is true that consuming processed food more than a limit will jeopardize health, and same stands for sugar aswell. However, while some believe that the government is resposible for limit the excessed sugar consumption, I would argee with those who argue that it is individual’s duty to take care of their food-intake. To begin with, public healthare department which falls under government has the prime resposibility of public well being. But, due to lack of stong policy on sugary products, sugar prone disease are speading like an epidemic. Thus, it is government’s duty to enact a law, which cut down the consumption of harmful sweet products. For example, Canada has implemented a rule which taxes sugary product based on the total content of sugar they have. As a result, it helped Canadian government to minimize the meance of dangerous illness. However, I feel that the individual has major role to play while dealing with such kind of scenario. This is because the government only make policy for our well being but individual’s action is more effective in this case. The reason for this is, when a person understand consequences of his eating habit and restrain harmful eatable from their meals, than the risk of lethal disease automatically falls. Moreover, in the liberal market, the government can not limit sell of these products after some extent. Therefore, result oriented solution lies with inviduals only. In conclusion, although the government can make strict law related to sell of high sugar products, I think that the individual’s action originated form awarness can take on this problem effectively.
It is true that consuming processed food more than a limit will jeopardize health, and same stands for
sugar
aswell
.
However
, while
some
believe that the
government
is
resposible
for limit the
excessed
sugar
consumption, I would
argee
with those who argue that it is
individual’s
duty to take care of their food-intake.

To
begin
with, public
healthare
department which falls under
government
has the prime
resposibility
of public
well being
.
But
, due to lack of
stong
policy on sugary
products
,
sugar
prone disease are
speading
like an epidemic.
Thus
, it is
government’s
duty to enact a law, which
cut
down the consumption of harmful sweet
products
.
For example
, Canada has implemented a
rule
which taxes sugary
product
based on the total content of
sugar
they have.
As a result
, it
helped
Canadian
government
to minimize the
meance
of
dangerous
illness.

However
, I feel that the
individual
has major role to play while dealing with such kind of scenario. This is
because
the
government
only
make
policy for our
well being
but
individual’s
action is more effective
in this case
.
The reason for this is
, when a person understand consequences of his eating habit and restrain harmful eatable from their meals, than the
risk
of lethal disease
automatically
falls.
Moreover
, in the liberal market, the
government
can not limit sell of these
products
after
some
extent.
Therefore
, result oriented solution lies with
inviduals
only
.

In conclusion
, although the
government
can
make
strict law related to sell of high
sugar
products
, I
think
that the
individual’s
action originated form
awarness
can take on this problem
effectively
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is individuals responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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