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Central and local goverments make a frantic atempt to promote festivals to create a lof revenue. Some people think this money should be invested in social programmes for the poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

Central and local goverments make a frantic atempt to promote festivals to create a lof revenue. Some people think this money should be invested in social programmes for the poor. with this statement? v. 2
Nowadays, most countries spend their money for festivals to create a lot of revenue. Some people think that, they have to invest this money to make a donation for the poor. It is also beneficial for the government to reduce the poor layer. On the one hand, most people think that they have to make a frantic attempt to promote festivals to create a lot of revenue instead of social programmes for the poor. Because, it is also useful for their level of governments around the world. In addition, if they focus on their attention to promote festival. This is not only best way to improve their budget, but also crucial for their society. On the other hand, some people think that, this is useless for the poor layer. As the result, they do not have enough money for studying and living. That is away, government have to invest this money for the poor instead of festivals. If they spend their money for poor layer, they can study and work for increasing their degree of country around the world. It is also significant for the economy. This is not only right way to reduce the poor layer, but also useful for the government. All in all, most government spend their money for the festivals to create a lot of income instead of social programmes for the poor. In my personal opinion, this money should be invested for the poor. Because, they can also create a lot of profit for the goverment.
Nowadays, most countries spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of revenue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
invest this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a donation for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. It is
also
beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
layer.

On the one hand, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a frantic attempt to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of revenue
instead
of social
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, it is
also
useful for their level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
around the world.
In addition
, if they focus on their attention to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
. This is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their budget,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
crucial for their society.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, this is useless for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
layer. As the result, they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for studying and living.
That is
away,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
invest this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
. If they spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
layer, they can study and work for increasing their degree of country around the world. It is
also
significant for the economy. This is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
right way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
layer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
useful for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

All in all, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of income
instead
of social
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. In my personal opinion, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be invested
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, they can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of profit for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Central and local goverments make a frantic atempt to promote festivals to create a lof revenue. Some people think this money should be invested in social programmes for the poor. with this statement? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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