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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.6

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. v. 6
Nowadays, sports professionals are obtaining more attention among people from all over the world. Media is one of the main reasons that make a person get fame in no time. So the sports persons are being treated like celebrities worldwide. To give a piece of one's mind, talented sports persons should be compensated with more pay. To be at loggerheads, some might feel this suggestion is unfair. It is a fact that not all the sports stars are more talented than the people who works in other esteemed professions such as doctors, scientists and politicians. They play an important role in the growth of their nation. Whereas sports persons play for themselves by using their country's name only as a label, sometimes they bring success and fame for the whole nation. Because of the media, people give keen attention to sports celebrities and treat other professions scornfully. In an honour bound, those who have mere talents must be paid with a huge amount of money. It is indeed that not all sports persons are successful in their careers. People who have the audacity and hard working nature are the one who relishes with the victory. Even though they play for their personal goal, achievements they make in sports also make the nation very proud. Considering this reason, it is fully justified to let a sports person to earn a great deal of money. To conclude, the sports professionals with suffice tendency to accomplish something in their career are justified to acquire huge earnings. It clearly depicts that sports professions have more value than other essential professions around the world.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
professionals are obtaining more attention among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all over the world. Media is one of the main reasons that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fame in no time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
are
being treated
like celebrities worldwide. To give a piece of one's mind, talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
should
be compensated
with more pay.

To be at loggerheads,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
might feel this suggestion is unfair. It is a fact that not all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
stars are more talented than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "work"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
works
in other esteemed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
such as doctors, scientists and politicians. They play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the growth of their nation. Whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
play for themselves by using their country's name
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
as a label,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they bring success and fame for the whole nation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the media,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give keen attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
celebrities and treat other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
scornfully
.

In an
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
bound, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have mere talents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be paid
with a huge amount of money. It is
indeed
that not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
are successful in their careers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have the audacity and
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
nature are the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
relishes with the victory.
Even though
they play for their personal goal, achievements they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
proud. Considering this reason, it is
fully
justified to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to earn a great deal of money.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
professionals with suffice tendency to accomplish something in their career
are justified
to acquire huge earnings. It
clearly
depicts that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
have more value than other essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
around the world.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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