Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Successful companies use advertisement to make more sales. What can make an advertisement very effective? Do you think this is a bad thing or a good thing for the society? v.1

Successful companies use advertisement to make more sales. What can make an advertisement very effective? Do you think this is a bad thing or a good thing for the society? v. 1
The rising profit due to the usage of advertisements in many successful enterprises is being increasingly witnessed these days. In this essay, I shall discuss the main causes why this development has occurred and explain why the positive aspects are superior once the government give proper guidance. There are various compelling reasons why this is happening and the prominent one is that advertisements enable the product to attract mounting attention and increase its exposure in the public as nowadays we are easily assess a wide range of advertisements, including flyers in the supermarket, billboards on the road and advertisements on the TV. Additionally, there are numerous advertisements that contains numerous creative and innovative ideas, which can leave an indelible impression to the customer. For instance, a recent study conducted in Japan has revealed that 80% of consumers prefer to buy products that they have seen on TV before. For these reasons, companies tend to utilize advertisements to enhance their profits. Looking at this in a big picture, this trend has positive impacts on our society if it’s done in moderation. The crucial beneficial factor of this tendency is that it can effectively stimulate the economic growth as the tertiary industry can hugely benefited from this once the government give proper guidance. Take myself for example, I have noticed that authorities in Japan have proposed new legislation which enforce manufactures to add warning signs on the package of cigarettes. As can be seen, it is beneficial for us if we do it in moderation. To sum up, the trend of using advertisements to increase profits is ubiquitous in recent years. This essay discussed why this trend is gaining popularity, also explained why it is a positive development with government guidance.
The rising profit due to the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
successful enterprises is being
increasingly
witnessed these days. In this essay, I shall discuss the main causes why this development has occurred and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects are superior once the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
give proper guidance.

There are various compelling reasons why this is happening and the prominent one is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
enable the product to attract mounting attention and increase its exposure in the public as nowadays we are
easily
Consider using a past participle here: "assessed".
assess
a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, including flyers in the supermarket, billboards on the road and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
on the TV.
Additionally
, there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
that contains numerous creative and innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
an indelible impression to the customer.
For instance
, a recent study conducted in Japan has revealed that 80% of consumers prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
products that they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on TV
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. For these reasons,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
tend to utilize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
to enhance their profits.

Looking at this in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
picture, this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on our society if it’s done in moderation. The crucial beneficial factor of this tendency is that it can
effectively
stimulate the economic growth as the tertiary industry can
hugely
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "benefit"
benefited
from this once the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
give proper guidance. Take myself
for example
, I have noticed that authorities in Japan have proposed new legislation which enforce manufactures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
warning signs on the package of cigarettes. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, it is beneficial for us if we do it in moderation.

To sum up, the trend of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
to increase profits is ubiquitous in recent years. This essay discussed why this trend is gaining popularity,
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
why it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
guidance.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Successful companies use advertisement to make more sales. What can make an advertisement very effective? Do you think this is a bad thing or a good thing for the society? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts