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Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings Do you think wealth the best measure of success What makes a successful person v.1

Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings Do you think wealth the best measure of success What makes a successful person v. 1
It is believed by many people that wealth and material things are measure of a person' s success and progress in society. A wealthy person might be considered as successful by many other people, but he might not be a successful in his own eyes, as success is achieving goals set by person himself, however, goals could be big or small. Therefore, wealthy people are usually considered successful by many, but definition of success may vary from one to another. Money and valuable material possessions are not best indicators of success. People struggle in their life to accumulate wealth in abundance, as many believe that wealth is ultimate goal of life, but it does not follow that all wealthy people are successful. Success is getting contended with one self, value in social circle, strength in family relations. A wealthy person might not be happy with his fate, as he could be struggling to achieve goals that he thinks are important to his life. Hence, money is not ultimate goal of every person. Achieving life goals makes a person successful. Every person sets goals in his life which he makes efforts to achieve, getting these goals give him sense of satisfaction with himself and his life, that sense of satisfaction is success. Take, for example, I personally know a guy who spent all his life to earn enough money to build a small home for his children. After forty years of savings, ultimately, he succeeded to build small home for his children in year 2015, he was satisfied with his efforts that he finally accomplished his goals. In my opinion, he was among successful people in 2015. In conclusion, material wealth is not the standard scale to measure success, all matters is that how a person is contended with his life.
It
is believed
by
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many
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people
that
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wealth
and material things are measure of a
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person&
#039; s
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success
and progress in society. A
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wealthy
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person
might
be considered
as
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successful
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
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people
,
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but
he might not be a
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successful
in his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
eyes, as
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success
is achieving
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goals
set by
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person
himself,
however
,
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goals
could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
.
Therefore
,
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wealthy
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people
are
usually
considered
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successful
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
definition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
may vary from one to another.

Money and valuable material possessions are
A determiner is probably missing here: "not the best".
not best
indicators of
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success
.
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People
struggle in their
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life
to accumulate
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wealth
in abundance, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that
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wealth
is ultimate
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goal
of
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life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not follow that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
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people
are
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successful
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Success
is getting contended with one self, value in social circle, strength in family relations. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
might not be happy with his fate, as he could be struggling to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
that he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Hence
, money is not ultimate
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goal
of every person.

Achieving
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life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
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person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
. Every
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person
sets
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goals
in his
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life
which he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
efforts to achieve, getting these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
give him sense of satisfaction with himself and his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, that sense of satisfaction is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. Take,
for example
, I
personally
know a guy who spent all his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to build a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
home for his children. After forty years of savings,
ultimately
, he succeeded to build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
home for his children in year 2015, he
was satisfied
with his efforts that he
finally
accomplished his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
. In my opinion, he was among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 2015.

In conclusion
, material
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
is not the standard scale to measure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
, all matters is that how a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is contended
with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
51Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings Do you think wealth the best measure of success What makes a successful person v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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