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success is often measured by wealth and material belongings Do you think wealth is the best measure of success What makes a successful person v.2

success is often measured by wealth and material belongings Do you think wealth is the best measure of success What makes a successful person v. 2
Nowadays, many people believed that richness and material belongings are considered the best success for people in their life. From my perspective, the key to being successful is the other side, and it is not necessary to be a wealth for achievement. I oppose the view and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs. Many support the view that a big amount of money and material belongings would be the importance for fortunate. The general public is believed that whereas it has money there might be luckiness. What' s more ordinary people usually think if someones are wealthy, being successful is not a dream for them. For example, Jhon Brick, a scientist from Brazil thanked his family for donating the budget for his invent. To sum up, it can be seen, richness is taken someplace in the person' s life. On the other hand, there would be many other options in living. Like the previous point, education and self-confidence are the essential parts of success. Everyone can be successful while he or she is taught greatly, so knowledgeable person has more confidence whilst doing something. For instance, statistics show that 60 % of the population in Indonesia is reckoned to be fortunate for having a piece of good knowledge. To repeat in short, be professional at the job and to be very knowledgable in that side, might be considered a success. In conclusion, there might be other factors, which is a measured success, but I strongly feel that those listed above are the most common ones.
Nowadays,
many
people
believed that richness and material belongings
are considered
the best success for
people
in their life. From my perspective, the key to being successful is the
other
side, and it is not necessary to be a wealth for achievement. I oppose the view and my reasons will be
explained
in the following paragraphs.

Many
support the view that a
big
amount of money and material belongings would be the importance for fortunate. The
general public
is believed
that whereas it has money there might be luckiness.
What&
#039; s more ordinary
people
usually
think
if someones are wealthy, being successful is not a dream for them.
For example
,
Jhon
Brick, a scientist from Brazil thanked his family for donating the budget for his
invent
. To sum up, it can be
seen
, richness
is taken
someplace in the
person&
#039; s life.

On the
other
hand, there would be
many
other
options in living. Like the previous point, education and self-confidence are the essential parts of success. Everyone can be successful while he or she
is taught
greatly
,
so
knowledgeable person has more confidence whilst doing something.
For instance
, statistics
show
that 60 % of the population in Indonesia
is reckoned
to be fortunate for having a piece of
good
knowledge. To repeat in short, be professional
at the job
and to be
very
knowledgable
in that side, might
be considered
a success.

In conclusion
, there might be
other
factors, which is a measured success,
but
I
strongly
feel that those listed above are the most common ones.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay success is often measured by wealth and material belongings Do you think wealth is the best measure of success What makes a successful person v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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