Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person? v.5

In today's materialistic world, it is often argued that money and material possessions are the sign of a successful life, this essay will consider whether being wealthy really is the best indicator of success, or whether there are other factors which leads to person being successful. While wealthy people are often seen as successful, i disagree that a person achievement should be measured by wealth alone. This is because money cannot buy happiness, which i believe is a more reliable indication of whether an individual has lived a good life. For example, a person may live in a mansion, drive a fancy car, and wear designer clothes, and yet still be depressed and miserable. Therfore, despite of being rich, this person would not be considered successful by most people. Furthermore, it is clear that money is not the only factor that contribute to a happy and successful life, there is growing body of research which suggests that other elements play a essential role. For instance, a person who has loving and strong relationships with friends and family, has good health, and makes a contribution to society is likely to feel happy with his life. As a result, he would be viewed as successful, even if he was not particulary wealthy. In conclusion, wealth cannot be the best measure of success, as being wealthy does not guarrantee happiness, which may people consider vital for a successful life. In my opinion, people should aim to cultivate their relationships, improve their health, and contribute to thein community, to achieve their happiness and successful life.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's materialistic world, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that money and material possessions are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, this essay will consider whether being wealthy
really
is the best indicator of success, or whether there are other factors which leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
being successful.

While wealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
,
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
disagree that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
achievement should
be measured
by wealth alone. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
money cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
happiness, which
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe is a more reliable indication of whether an individual has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a mansion, drive a fancy car, and wear designer clothes, and
yet
still
be depressed
and miserable.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Therfore
,
Did you mean “despite” (or, alternatively, ‘in spite of’)?
despite of
being rich, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
would not
be considered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
by most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Furthermore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that money is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
factor that contribute to a happy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, there is growing body of research which suggests that other elements play
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
essential role.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who has loving and strong relationships with friends and family, has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a contribution to society is likely to feel happy with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
As a result
, he would
be viewed
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
, even if he was not
Possible spelling mistake found.
particulary
wealthy.

In conclusion
, wealth cannot be the best measure of success, as being wealthy does not
Possible spelling mistake found.
guarrantee
happiness, which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider vital for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should aim to cultivate their relationships,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health, and contribute to
Possible spelling mistake found.
thein
community, to achieve their happiness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.

IELTS essay success is often measured by wealth and material belongings, do you think that wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person? v.5