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Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.22

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. v. 22
Nowadays, higher education is critical for both men and women. It is considered that tertiary education institutes should accept the same number of female and male students in every course. I strongly disagree with this view, because this may de-motivate them from learning and placement in subjects should be according to the ability. To begin with, enrolling students in a subject without their interest may hinder their learning ability. If they are placed equally in different subjects, it would discourage them from learning due to the lack of interest in it. This, in turn, would have repercussions on their future career aspect. Research, for example, indicates that a group of students in Japan when places in a subject without considering their interest in it had been noticed significantly to stop learning it. Furthermore, students should be given admission on a subject according to their ability. This is because every student has different capabilities in different subjects. In other words, some learners might be proficient in the science subject, others may be better in the art subject. A recent study, for instance, has found that female students perform 50% better than their male counterparts in the art subject. Thus, it is not beneficial to enrol an equal number of male and female students in the same subject. In conclusion, it is believed that higher education institutes should enrol an equal number of men and women students in all subjects. However, I fully disagree with this assertion, since it may result in discouraging them from learning, as well as enrolling in a subject should be based on the ability of a student.
Nowadays, higher education is critical for both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women. It
is considered
that tertiary education institutes should accept the same number of female and male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in every course. I
strongly
disagree with this view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this may
Possible spelling mistake found.
de-motivate
them from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and placement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should be according to the ability.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, enrolling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
without their interest may hinder their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
ability. If they
are placed
equally
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, it would discourage them from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
due to the lack of interest in it. This, in turn, would have repercussions on their future career aspect. Research,
for example
, indicates that a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in Japan when places in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
without considering their interest in it had
been noticed
significantly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
it.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
admission on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
according to their ability. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
capabilities in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
learners might be proficient in the science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, others may be better in the art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. A recent study,
for instance
, has found that female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
perform 50% better than their male counterparts in the art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
Thus
, it is not beneficial to enrol an equal number of male and female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the same subject.

In conclusion
, it
is believed
that higher education institutes should enrol an equal number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
However
, I
fully
disagree with this assertion, since it may result in discouraging them from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
,
as well
as enrolling in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
should
be based
on the ability of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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