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success is depend on hard work but others believe that luck has no role how far do you agree or disagree v.1

success is depend on hard work but others believe that luck has no role how far v. 1
Success means the ability to turn our dreams and goals into the reality, and for that we have to work hard. In the contemporary era, there is heated argument over the issue that is success is only depends on hard work, but to be an honest luck has played a vital role to obtain success in life. A lion's share of the society favours it. However the rest goes averse it. The following paragraph would shed light on both the approaches before making final judgement. I do not see eye to eye with the central idea for various reasons. First and foremost, the success achieved by the contribution of both hard work and luck. There are some people believe that success is only in a matter of luck. By this implementation of thought they could not work at all and wait for their luck. Secondly, people also create more dependency on the horoscope for engagement in terms of works. For instance, check their daily horoscope and pretend that today is a lucky day or not. This kind of thought directly effect on their capabilities of work and also feel demotivate when they faces failures in their life. Adding further, hard work is only worked when there is luck availability to obtain pleasure and success in life. To substantiate, there is an epitome of a Thomas editions who invented an electric bulb after the failing the 100 times. On the logger's head some critics go against the above discussed assertions. But I am of opinion that we should do a hard work with positive thinking and approach without consideration of the drawback of failures. There are famous lines about success, " Don't run for the success, only follow the excellence power of our mind that will runs the success behind us. "
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Success
means the ability to turn our dreams and goals into the reality, and for that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
. In the contemporary era, there
is heated
argument over the issue
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to be an honest luck has played a vital role to obtain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in life. A lion's share of the society
Possible spelling mistake. 'favours' is British English.
favours
it.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the rest goes averse it. The following paragraph would shed light on both the approaches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making final judgement.

I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
eye to eye with the central
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for various reasons.
First
and foremost, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
achieved by the contribution of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and luck. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
in a matter of luck. By this implementation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
they could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at all and wait for their luck.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
also
create more dependency on the horoscope for engagement in terms of works.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
their daily horoscope and pretend that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is a lucky day or not. This kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
directly
effect on their capabilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
also
feel demotivate when they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "face"
faces
failures in their life.

Adding
further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
worked when there is luck availability to obtain pleasure and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in life. To substantiate, there is an epitome of a Thomas editions who invented an electric bulb after the failing the 100 times.

On the logger's head
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
critics go against the above discussed assertions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I am of opinion that we should do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
thinking and approach without consideration of the drawback of failures.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
lines about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
Don't run for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
follow the excellence power of our mind that will runs the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
behind us.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay success is depend on hard work but others believe that luck has no role how far v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
300 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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