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Some people believe that success comes from hard work. Others believe that success has to do with luck. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Give specific details and examples to support your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that success comes from hard work. Others believe that success has to do with luck. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Give specific details and examples to support your opinion. v. 2
We have witnessed hundreds of stories about a person successfulness, and we often wonder how they can do it. Personally, I believe that triumph is the result of hard working and perseverance and luck only a tiny factor in order to achieve a favourable outcome. To begin with, it is an undeniable fact that success will not be obtained without diligent works. In other words, strong determination, confidence and desire to achieve positive things in life should always be cherished in your heart and mind, and these feelings con only be fulfilled through laborious actions, not by luck itself. For instance, there are numerous of outstanding leaders who have reached the summit of success by experiencing various of feelings, obstacles and multi ups and downs in their early stage of life. Thus, it is proved that fate is not a factor that control a person. Furthermore, to clarify my opinion, it is said that “No pain, no gain”, therefore, the given quote proves that no such gain comes without any hard works. To put it more simply, one has to enforce strong steps to reach their victory. For example, Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple took his opportunity, then turned it into significant results. Nevertheless, some still believe that luck plays a huge role in their growth. However, luck is a one-time event or it does not come to you in time, some billionaires never witness luck but they still achieve their results in triumph by hard working. To summarise, perseverance, determination and willingness to take risks are the key factors leading you to success in life. Therefore, we should be focused on ourselves and not waiting for luck.
We have witnessed hundreds of stories about a person successfulness, and we
often
wonder how they can do it.
Personally
, I believe that triumph is the result of
hard working
and perseverance and luck
only
a tiny factor in order to achieve a
favourable
outcome.

To
begin
with, it is an undeniable fact that success will not
be obtained
without diligent works.
In other words
, strong determination, confidence and desire to achieve
positive
things in life should always
be cherished
in your heart and mind, and these feelings con
only
be fulfilled
through laborious actions, not by luck itself.
For instance
, there are numerous of outstanding leaders who have reached the summit of success by experiencing various of feelings, obstacles and multi ups and downs in their early stage of life.
Thus
, it
is proved
that fate is not a factor that control a person.

Furthermore
, to clarify my opinion, it
is said
that “No pain, no gain”,
therefore
, the
given
quote proves that no such gain
comes
without any
hard
works. To put it more
simply
, one
has to
enforce strong steps to reach their victory.
For example
, Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple took his opportunity, then turned it into significant results.

Nevertheless
,
some
still
believe that luck plays a huge role in their growth.
However
, luck is a one-time
event
or it does not
come
to you in time,
some
billionaires never witness luck
but
they
still
achieve their results in triumph by
hard working
.

To
summarise
, perseverance, determination and willingness to take
risks
are the key factors leading you to success in life.
Therefore
, we should
be focused
on ourselves and not waiting for luck.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that success comes from hard work. Others believe that success has to do with luck. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Give specific details and examples to support your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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