Most of the people nowadays around the world would like to have the opportunity to stay at home and have some free moment for all the work that they have to do, and by the mobile application technologically advanced, a new form of delivery become available which is internet shopping.
It’s a mean, let the person to ordered whatever merchandise he or she want to be delivered to their home, by this approach they can get an extra hour to rest at home after a long day of work and doing daily errands.
Therefore, I agree with this kind of facility to be further developed so that it can on reach for all the houses around the world, due how make life more convenient and provide an extra moment to do another activity was not possible before because they're just not enough moment to do it.
However, some people believe that this kind shopping will the shops in town and city to be closed, but this is just really a dark thought in the person's mind, because still even internet shopping makes our life easier, but the traditional way of shopping has its own unique pleasure and still from time to time the people would like to go out and buy their stuff by this way.
In the end, internet shopping couldn't take the traditional way place, buts it’s a good thing that we have an alternative choice that we can make if don’t have the time to go outside. 
Most of the  
people
 nowadays around the world would like to have the opportunity to stay at home and have  
some
 free moment for all the work that they  
have to
 do, and by the mobile application  
technologically
 advanced, a new form of delivery become available which is internet shopping.
It’s a mean,  
let
 the person to ordered whatever merchandise he or she  
want
 to  
be delivered
 to their home, by this approach they can  
get
 an extra hour to rest at home after a long day of work and doing daily errands. 
Therefore
, I  
agree
 with this kind of facility to be  
further
 developed  
so
 that it can on reach for all the  
houses
 around the world, due how  
make
 life more convenient and provide an extra moment to do another activity was not possible  
before
  because
 they're  
just
 not  
enough
 moment to do it. 
However
,  
some
  people
 believe that this kind  
shopping
 will the shops in town and city to  
be closed
,  
but
 this is  
just
  really
 a dark  
thought
 in the person's mind,  
because
  still
 even internet  
shopping
  makes
 our life easier,  
but
 the traditional way of  
shopping
 has its  
own
 unique pleasure and  
still
 from time to time the  
people
 would like to go out and  
buy
 their stuff by this way.
In the  
end
, internet  
shopping
 couldn't take the traditional way place, buts it’s a  
good
 thing that we have an alternative choice that we can  
make
 if don’t have the time to go outside. 
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes