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Success in business can be assured if you have great marketing and promotion. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Success in business can be assured if you have great marketing and promotion. v. 3
It is often believed that a business is likely to succeed if advertisement and promotion is carried out heavily. I completely agree that a business will be successful if marketing and promotion are done in the right way. Firstly, marketing a business product helps to gain huge popularity in the business market. Using advertisements such as the internet, televisions or newspapers are likely to spread awareness about business products and services among large groups of people. Consequently, with such rising popularity, more people are increasingly interested in a company service thus booming the sales of an organization. For instance, Jeans products are widely sold around the globe because of its great popularity. Secondly, continuity in marketing and promotion are proven to attract thousands of customers. In other words, displaying advertisements on a regular basis influences large numbers of people daily. As a result, consumers are willingly interested in a specific product upon seeing the advertisement of it frequently. To illustrate this, the e-commerce site called ' FashionNova' receives 80% of its visitors from Facebook because of using daily facebook targeted advertisements. In conclusion, I completely agree that a business can achieve success with better marketing and advertisement than others as they aid an organization to gain popularity and attract plenty of customers.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is likely to succeed if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
and promotion
is carried
out
heavily
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
will be successful if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
and promotion
are done
in the right way.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to gain huge popularity in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
market. Using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
such as the internet, televisions or newspapers are likely to spread awareness about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services among large groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Consequently
, with such rising popularity, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
increasingly
interested in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
service
thus
booming the sales of an organization.
For instance
, Jeans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
widely
sold around the globe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its great popularity.

Secondly
, continuity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
and promotion
are proven
to attract thousands of customers.
In other words
, displaying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
on a regular basis influences large numbers of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
daily.
As a result
, consumers are
willingly
interested in a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
upon seeing the
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
it
frequently
. To illustrate this, the e-commerce site called '
Possible spelling mistake found.
FashionNova&
#039; receives 80% of its visitors from Facebook
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of using daily
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
targeted advertisements.

In conclusion
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can achieve success with better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
than others as they aid an organization to gain popularity and attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of customers.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Success in business can be assured if you have great marketing and promotion. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
212 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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