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Some people think that teenagers should follow the example of older people. Others think that it is natural for teenagers to challenge what older people say. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.7

Some people think that teenagers should follow the example of older people. Others think that it is natural for teenagers to challenge what older people say. v. 7
A lot of people believe that teenager should follow the advice and guidance of old people whereas, some argue these young people should be given the right to choose their own path. In my essay, I would shed light in both the notions and give my point of view. On the first hand, some people believe that people of older generation are trustful because of their knowledge and experience. That is to mean, these people have already went through difficult life situations and thus have learnt the skills ways to tackle these problems which can be shared with others. Therefore, upon following their guidance and advice, a young adult can surely learn various lesson which will be fruitful for him/her in the future. For example, children’s raised by grandparents usually have a good humour and personality because of following things like advice, behaviour taught by their grandparents. On the contrary, some people argue that following the examples of past generation is no longer suitable for the teenagers in this era of science and technology. The emerging developments of technology have made the lives of people much easier than in the past. So, the examples set by the older generations can no longer be beneficial for the people of new generation. To illustrate this, in terms of agriculture, it is beneficial for the young people to use the agricultural machinery and tools which adds more efficiency and speed in the farming work than to use the traditional farming methods used by the old people. In conclusion, it is evident from both the discussion that both the arguments carry equal strength and significance, I personally subscribe to the preposition that young people shall follow guidance and examples of old people because they teach the best lesson and skills.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
should follow the advice and guidance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whereas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the right to choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
path. In my essay, I would shed light in both the notions and give my point of view.

On the
first
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of older generation are trustful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their knowledge and experience.
That is
to mean, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have already went through difficult life situations and
thus
have
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
ways to tackle these problems which can
be shared
with others.
Therefore
, upon following their guidance and advice, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adult can
surely
learn various lesson which will be fruitful for him/her in the future. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, children’s raised by grandparents
usually
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'humour' is British English.
humour
and personality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of following things like advice,
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
taught by their grandparents.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examples
of past generation is no longer suitable for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in this era of science and technology. The emerging developments of technology have made the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
much easier than in the past.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examples
set by the older generations can no longer be beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of new generation. To illustrate this, in terms of agriculture, it is beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the agricultural machinery and tools which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
more efficiency and speed in the farming work than to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the traditional farming methods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, it is evident from both the discussion that both the arguments carry equal strength and significance, I
personally
subscribe to the preposition that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
shall follow guidance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examples
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they teach the best lesson and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that teenagers should follow the example of older people. Others think that it is natural for teenagers to challenge what older people say. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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