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Success in business can be assured if you have great marketing and promotion. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Success in business can be assured if you have great marketing and promotion. v. 1
The temperature of planet earth has changed rapidly over the past hundred years or so and some argue that we should not spend our money and energy to fight it but find means to adapt to this change. This essay disagrees with this view due to several reasons as we shall see. The first and foremost reason why we should stop or try to reduce the pace of global warming is that it is directly affecting our lives and it may prove to be an existential threat to the entire human race. For instance, the melting of polar ice caps will increase the sea levels around the world and many coastal cities will be submerged. Moreover, the change in weather patterns, and the gradual rise in degrees is having an adverse impact on the food production as well. Sitting idle and finding ways to adapt to it will result in its pace is going unchecked and it will accelerate and magnify the problems mentioned earlier. Another reason why maximum efforts on a global scale is needed to fight this danger is its effect on the health and wellness of living beings on earth. The steps that are required to stop or slow down global warming have the results of reducing pollution, and improving air quality which is a major concern for the residents of a number of big cities. For example, Lahore and New Dehli. In conclusion It is important to allocate maximum resources to fight global warming on every level for the future of next generations depend on it and finding alternative solutions to co- exist with it will never prove to be a long term solution.
The temperature of planet earth has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
rapidly
over the past hundred years or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that we should not spend our money and energy to fight it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
find means to adapt to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. This essay disagrees with this view due to several reasons as we shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
.

The
first
and foremost reason why we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
or try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming is that it is
directly
affecting our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and it may prove to be an existential threat to the entire human race.
For instance
, the melting of polar ice caps will increase the sea levels around the world and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
coastal cities will
be submerged
.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in weather patterns, and the gradual rise in degrees is having an adverse impact on the food production
as well
. Sitting idle and finding ways to adapt to it will result in its pace is going unchecked and it will accelerate and magnify the problems mentioned earlier.

Another reason why maximum efforts on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
scale
is needed
to fight this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
is its effect on the health and wellness of living beings on earth. The steps that
are required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
or slow down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming have the results of reducing pollution, and improving air quality which is a major concern for the residents of a number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.
For example
, Lahore and New
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dehli
.

In conclusion
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to allocate maximum resources to fight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming on every level for the future of
next
generations depend on it and finding alternative solutions to co- exist with it will never prove to be a long term solution.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Success in business can be assured if you have great marketing and promotion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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