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Studying abroad has become very popular for many students. What are the benefits of taking a degree course in a foreign country, and discuss any drawbacks? v.2

Studying abroad has become very popular for many students. What are the benefits of taking a degree course in a foreign country, and discuss any drawbacks? v. 2
Studying in the university has basically so crucial for beginning a professional, well-paid career and numerous people make a decision to take a degree course overseas. Without a doubt, there are more benefits to acquire a high standard education, however the tremendously excessive expense of studying aboard is a significant obstacle for some students. Unquestionably, most students select to undertake a degree course aboard to take benefit of the higher quality education offered by western universities. To explain more clearly, most tertiary institutions in the United Kingdom, the United States and Australia, for instance, have very high ranking, and the essential reason for this is they have established superior research facilities and employ the world’s top professors in their chosen fields. On the contrary, in my country, Thailand, none to the universities is in the world’s top 500 ranking and there are fewer international courses available to local students. Generally, those students who have chosen to study in a western university can benefit from superior education from these expert lecturers within first-class facilities so develop first world knowledge or specific work skill such as understanding international law. This advantage is likely to help them greatly with their career prospects. On the other hand, the high overall cost of studying for degree overseas can be major problem for some students. This observation is supported by foreign student charged which is usually double prices when compared with native students, accommodation rates in western cities is quietly expensive than the local student country and general living expresses also exorbitant in some cities. Moreover, the chance of studying aboard extremely difficult for Asian students. For example, Thai students have to afford all expense for studying which is sometime must be in debt because of borrowed money in order to paid general living that pressure on the family. Furthermore, some students forced to work part-time during their course to help pay the costs that pressure on the students. In conclusion, studying aboard is the best of way to success in the field of their careers and making a chance to get high well-paid although studying overseas causes several problems of effecting with some students and their families.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Studying
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
has
basically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
crucial for beginning a professional, well-paid career and numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decision to take a degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
overseas. Without a doubt, there are more benefits to acquire a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
standard education,
however
the
tremendously
excessive expense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
aboard is a significant obstacle for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students.

Unquestionably
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
select to undertake a degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
aboard to take benefit of the higher quality education offered by western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
more
clearly
, most tertiary institutions in the United Kingdom, the United States and Australia,
for instance
, have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
ranking, and the essential reason for this is they have established superior research facilities and employ the world’s top professors in their chosen fields.
On the contrary
, in my country, Thailand, none to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
is in the world’s top 500 ranking and there are fewer international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
available to local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Generally
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who have chosen to study in a western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can benefit from superior education from these expert lecturers within
first
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
develop
first
world knowledge or specific work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
such as understanding international law. This advantage is likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
greatly
with their career prospects.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
overall
cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
for degree overseas can be major problem for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. This observation
is supported
by foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
charged which is
usually
double prices when compared with native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, accommodation rates in western cities is
quietly
Use "(expensive)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
expensive
than the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
country and general living expresses
also
exorbitant in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cities.
Moreover
, the chance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
aboard
extremely
difficult for Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For example
, Thai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
afford all expense for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
which is sometime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be in debt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of borrowed money in order to paid general living that pressure on the family.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
forced
Did you mean "working"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'force' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to work
part-time during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
pay the costs that pressure on the students.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
aboard is the best of way to success in the field of their careers and making a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
well-paid although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
overseas causes several problems of effecting with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and their families.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Studying abroad has become very popular for many students. What are the benefits of taking a degree course in a foreign country, and discuss any drawbacks? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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