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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parent are the best teachers. Use specific reason and examples to support your answer. v.641

Parent are the best teachers. Use specific reason and examples to support your answer. v. 641
Many people in the world may disagree that the best teachers should not the parent and there are different reasons why people do so. As far as I’m concerned, this is answer depend on style of each person. In my view, I agree that the parents are the best teachers. I have a lot of reasons and will provide concrete evidence to support my viewpoint as follow. First of all, the parent are more patient to all situations with relative me. When I was born, the parent is the first ones who take care everything to us. For example, when I was child, Peter, who is my teacher in the primary school taught tie the shoes by myself, but i did not understand how to tie them. I asked Peter about tie my shoes 2-3 times but she did not teach and help me. After I came back to my home, and I told my problem with my father. My father try to teach a lot of times and he did not complain me, so I can do it by myself. From the reason, I prefer that the parent are always patient and support me in every time. Secondly, the parent teach me to try more frugal so that I can save up for buying anything with myself. My family is quite poor in the San Diego. When I go to park, I see that many children is playing football in the field; however, I cannot play with them because I do not have the stud. I try to beg my parent to buy it, but they do not buy. The parent suggest that I have to save money by myself by using technic money left from school. I spent of time about 1 month and I get a new stud to play football with friends. In the conclusion, I prefer to choose the parent are the best teacher in my life because they are the best patient to my behavior and teach to save money up so as to succeed in my life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the world may disagree that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. As far as I’m concerned, this is answer depend on style of each person. In my view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
reasons and will provide concrete evidence to support my viewpoint
Did you mean "as follows"?
as follow
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
are more patient to all situations with relative me. When I
was born
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
is the
first
ones who take care everything to us.
For example
, when I was child, Peter, who is my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
in the primary school taught tie the shoes by myself,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
did not understand how to tie them. I asked Peter about tie my shoes 2-3 times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me. After I came back to my home, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
my problem with my father. My father try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
times and
he did not complain me,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I can do it by myself. From the reason, I prefer that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
are always patient and support me in every time.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
me to try more frugal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can save up for buying anything with myself. My family is quite poor in the San Diego. When I go to park, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children is playing football in the field;
however
, I cannot play with them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I do not have the stud. I try to beg my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "suggests".
suggest
that I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
save money by myself by using
Possible spelling mistake found.
technic
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
from school. I spent of time about 1 month and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a new stud to play football with friends.

In the conclusion, I prefer to choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
in my life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
patient to my behavior and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
Did you mean "saving"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'teach' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to save
money up
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
succeed in my life.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay Parent are the best teachers. Use specific reason and examples to support your answer. v. 641

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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