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Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child's success in school. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? v.4

Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child's success in school. v. 4
The school is an academic center the main responsibility of which, is to prepare individuals for having both a successful professional and personal life. Stemming from this fact a relevant question that is a moot point is whether children could improve their education with the help of their parents or their classmate. Due to the controversial nature of this question, there is not a general agreement on this question. I am, however, to a great extent of the conviction that although classmate could have direct effects on education, parents can provide an opportunity for their children to reach higher education. The following reasons will aptly substantiate my personal perspective. To commence with, children are the pillars of every given society, which play an important role in a nation. Indeed, success is one of the important life goals for every person and individuals are willing to make a progress day in day out to reach success. Generally phrased, classmate and parents both can encourage children to study hard and being successful but parents might have more influence on their children. For example, children spend most of their time with their parents and children consider them as a model and mimic their behavior. In fact, children have short time relation with their classmate owing to the fact that they change every year but parents are forever. To elucidate more on this issue, parents know their children better than any other so, they will be able to recognize the ways of success in order to provide fertile ground for them to reach the pinnacle of their life. Another reason that should not go unnoticed is that parents have a stronger relation with their children than classmates. To put it in another word, the emotional bond is of utmost critical importance that patronizes children to be successful in their education. As far as I am concerned, classmates are not mature enough and being in a relationship with them might have deleterious effects on children' s education and jeopardize their success. Going into the depth, Due to the emotional bond between parents and children, parents could have positive attention and affection not only on their children' s success but on their way of living. However, there is a possibility that parents could not be able to guarantee their children' s lives. Arguably, lead a child in order to be successful in his/her education and life need a knowledgeable person and parents might not have enough experience. As a corollary, children with their classmates are able to understand and perceive each other' s situation better than parents owing to the fact that they have a similar condition with the same goal in life. In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that success is one of the significant life goals for human beings that classmates and parents could have positive effects. Indeed, due to the emotional bond and spend, most of the time with children show the parents' key role in children' s' life.
The school is an academic center the main responsibility of which, is to prepare individuals for having both a
successful
professional and personal
life
. Stemming from this
fact
a relevant question
that is
a moot point is whether
children
could
improve
their
education
with the
help
of their
parents
or their
classmate
. Due to the controversial nature of this question, there is not a general agreement on this question. I am,
however
, to a great extent of the conviction that although
classmate
could have direct effects on
education
,
parents
can provide an opportunity for their
children
to reach higher
education
. The following reasons will
aptly
substantiate my personal perspective.

To commence with,
children
are the pillars of every
given
society, which play an
important
role in a nation.
Indeed
,
success
is one of the
important
life
goals for every person and individuals are willing to
make
a progress day in day out to reach
success
.
Generally
phrased,
classmate
and
parents
both can encourage
children
to study
hard
and being
successful
but
parents
might have more influence on their
children
.
For example
,
children
spend most of their time with their
parents
and
children
consider them as a model and mimic their behavior. In
fact
,
children
have short time relation with their
classmate
owing to the
fact
that they
change
every year
but
parents
are forever. To elucidate more on this issue,
parents
know their
children
better than any other
so
, they will be able to recognize the ways of
success
in order to provide fertile ground for them to reach the pinnacle of their life.

Another reason that should not go unnoticed is that
parents
have a stronger relation with their
children
than
classmates
. To put it in another word, the emotional bond is of utmost critical importance that patronizes
children
to be
successful
in their
education
. As far as I
am concerned
,
classmates
are not mature
enough
and being in a relationship with them might have deleterious effects on
children&
#039; s
education
and jeopardize their
success
. Going into the depth, Due to the emotional bond between
parents
and
children
,
parents
could have
positive
attention and affection not
only
on their
children&
#039; s
success
but
on their way of living.

However
, there is a possibility that
parents
could not be able to guarantee their
children&
#039; s
lives
.
Arguably
, lead a child in order to be
successful
in his/her
education
and
life
need a knowledgeable person and
parents
might not have
enough
experience. As a corollary,
children
with their
classmates
are able to understand and perceive each
other&
#039; s situation better than
parents
owing to the
fact
that they have a similar condition with the same goal in life.

In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
success
is one of the significant
life
goals for human beings that
classmates
and
parents
could have
positive
effects.
Indeed
, due to the emotional bond and spend, most of the time with
children
show
the
parents&
#039; key role in
children&
#039;
s&
#039;
life
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
66Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child's success in school. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
497 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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