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Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child's success in school. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? v.4

Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child's success in school. v. 4
The school is an academic center the main responsibility of which, is to prepare individuals for having both a successful professional and personal life. Stemming from this fact a relevant question that is a moot point is whether children could improve their education with the help of their parents or their classmate. Due to the controversial nature of this question, there is not a general agreement on this question. I am, however, to a great extent of the conviction that although classmate could have direct effects on education, parents can provide an opportunity for their children to reach higher education. The following reasons will aptly substantiate my personal perspective. To commence with, children are the pillars of every given society, which play an important role in a nation. Indeed, success is one of the important life goals for every person and individuals are willing to make a progress day in day out to reach success. Generally phrased, classmate and parents both can encourage children to study hard and being successful but parents might have more influence on their children. For example, children spend most of their time with their parents and children consider them as a model and mimic their behavior. In fact, children have short time relation with their classmate owing to the fact that they change every year but parents are forever. To elucidate more on this issue, parents know their children better than any other so, they will be able to recognize the ways of success in order to provide fertile ground for them to reach the pinnacle of their life. Another reason that should not go unnoticed is that parents have a stronger relation with their children than classmates. To put it in another word, the emotional bond is of utmost critical importance that patronizes children to be successful in their education. As far as I am concerned, classmates are not mature enough and being in a relationship with them might have deleterious effects on children' s education and jeopardize their success. Going into the depth, Due to the emotional bond between parents and children, parents could have positive attention and affection not only on their children' s success but on their way of living. However, there is a possibility that parents could not be able to guarantee their children' s lives. Arguably, lead a child in order to be successful in his/her education and life need a knowledgeable person and parents might not have enough experience. As a corollary, children with their classmates are able to understand and perceive each other' s situation better than parents owing to the fact that they have a similar condition with the same goal in life. In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that success is one of the significant life goals for human beings that classmates and parents could have positive effects. Indeed, due to the emotional bond and spend, most of the time with children show the parents' key role in children' s' life.
The school is an academic center the main responsibility of which, is to prepare individuals for having both a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
professional and personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Stemming from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
a relevant question
that is
a moot point is whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmate
. Due to the controversial nature of this question, there is not a general agreement on this question. I am,
however
, to a great extent of the conviction that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmate
could have direct effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can provide an opportunity for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to reach higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. The following reasons will
aptly
substantiate my personal perspective.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are the pillars of every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
society, which play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in a nation.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
goals for every person and individuals are willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a progress day in day out to reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
Generally
phrased,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmate
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
both can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
might have more influence on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend most of their time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
consider them as a model and mimic their behavior. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have short time relation with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmate
owing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
every year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are forever. To elucidate more on this issue,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
better than any other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they will be able to recognize the ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in order to provide fertile ground for them to reach the pinnacle of their life.

Another reason that should not go unnoticed is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have a stronger relation with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmates
. To put it in another word, the emotional bond is of utmost critical importance that patronizes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. As far as I
am concerned
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmates
are not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and being in a relationship with them might have deleterious effects on
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and jeopardize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. Going into the depth, Due to the emotional bond between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attention and affection not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on their way of living.

However
, there is a possibility that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could not be able to guarantee their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Arguably
, lead a child in order to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
need a knowledgeable person and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
might not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
experience. As a corollary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmates
are able to understand and perceive each
Possible spelling mistake found.
other&
#039; s situation better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
owing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that they have a similar condition with the same goal in life.

In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is one of the significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
goals for human beings that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmates
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects.
Indeed
, due to the emotional bond and spend, most of the time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039; key role in
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039;
Possible spelling mistake found.
s&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
66Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child's success in school. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
497 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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