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In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.29

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 29
Some may argue that the government should provide a large fund to develop new railway lines, which high speed trains can connect between other cities. While, I extremely believe that the government should spend money on extending transportation of the public. It is necessary to say that the new railway lines to be built between two cities, which it can help people to reduce commuting time. This may be because the high speed train provides faster commuting time than other public transport and it has not brought traffic jam. In addition, governments construct railway lines connect between two cities, there can contribute to the development of rural areas and urban areas. For example, citizens are more likely inconvenience in the countryside than cities. They have not adequate medical system and educational facilities. Therefore, the railways play a vital role, it can assist people go to cities. It is obvious that a lot of causes lead to people usually use public transport in cities. That is quite common way, which people take a bus or subway to go to their destination. By this mean that numerous individuals take public transport, it can contribute to reduce emission of carbon dioxide. For instance, if each person chooses to drive their car to their destination, it releases a lot of carbon dioxide. By contrast, in Taiwan MRT, take one thousand passengers, is quite useful reducing carbon dioxide. To conclusion with the arguments given above, I strongly agree that public transport should gain much money in order to improve it. The more transportation of the public we take, the better our environment we have.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "argues".
argue
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide a large fund to develop new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
lines, which high speed trains can connect between other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, I
extremely
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend money on extending transportation of the public.

It is necessary to say that the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
lines to
be built
between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, which it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
commuting time. This may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the high speed train provides faster commuting time than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
and it has not brought traffic jam.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
construct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
lines connect between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, there can contribute to the development of rural areas and urban areas.
For example
, citizens are more likely inconvenience in the countryside than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. They have not adequate medical system and educational facilities.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
play a vital role, it can assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to cities.

It is obvious that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
causes lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
That is
quite common way, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take a bus or subway to go to their destination. By this mean that numerous individuals take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
, it can contribute to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
emission of carbon dioxide.
For instance
, if each person chooses to drive their car to their destination, it releases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
carbon dioxide. By contrast, in Taiwan MRT, take one thousand passengers, is quite useful reducing carbon dioxide.

To conclusion with the arguments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
above, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
should gain much money in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it. The more transportation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
we take, the better our environment we have.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 29

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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