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Studies have suggested that nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons for this and what measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time o v.2

Studies have suggested that nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons for this and what measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time o v. 2
Global warming is the ever-growing concern for the environmentalist across the globe which has reached to an alarming condition that require immediate attention. This essay would analyse several root causes of climate changes and provide a remedy to reduce the effect in the present scenario. First of all, among the various reasons for the increase in global warming, admittedly, human activities such as usage of automobiles, deforestation, over-consumption of natural resources, and exponential growth of industrialization accounts to be a predominant cause for environmental chaos. To exemplify, the growth in vehicles not only consumes a large amount of fossils and fuels, but also results in the greenhouse effect, a phenomenon that occurs when the carbon dioxide gases produced by these motor-vehicles builds up heat to raise the global temperature, which becomes hazardous to the people and the atmosphere. Moreover, failure to conserve and protect the resources would affect the ecological balance, which further worsens the situation for the next generation. For counteracting global warming, one of the possible solutions would be on government enforcing strict policies on their citizens when their activity contributes to the above-mentioned factors. For instance, higher taxes could be imposed on automobiles and factories that could reduce the smoke emission and also the utilization of resources like petrol and diesels, electricity to power up the industries would drop off gradually. To conclude, global warming poses a serious threat to mankind and the ecosystem that needs to be addressed right away. Regulating new laws for environmental wellness on the priority by the government could aid individuals to realize the severeness of the issue and act accordingly.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is the ever-growing concern for the environmentalist across the globe which has reached to an alarming condition that require immediate attention. This essay would
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
several root causes of climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and provide a remedy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the effect in the present scenario.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, among the various reasons for the increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
,
admittedly
, human activities such as usage of automobiles, deforestation, over-consumption of natural resources, and exponential growth of industrialization accounts to be a predominant cause for environmental chaos. To exemplify, the growth in vehicles not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
consumes a large amount of fossils and fuels,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
results in the greenhouse effect, a phenomenon that occurs when the carbon dioxide gases produced by these motor-vehicles builds up heat to raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
temperature, which becomes hazardous to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the atmosphere.
Moreover
, failure to conserve and protect the resources would affect the ecological balance, which
further
worsens the situation for the
next
generation.

For counteracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
, one of the possible solutions would be on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
enforcing strict policies on their citizens when their activity contributes to the above-mentioned factors.
For instance
, higher taxes could
be imposed
on automobiles and factories that could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the smoke emission and
also
the utilization of resources like petrol and diesels, electricity to power up the industries would drop off
gradually
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
poses a serious threat to mankind and the ecosystem that needs to
be addressed
right away. Regulating new laws for environmental wellness on the priority by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could aid individuals to realize the severeness of the issue and act
accordingly
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Studies have suggested that nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons for this and what measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time o v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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