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It is often said that to become a successful business a tertiary education is not at all necessary. To what extent you agree or disagree. Give your opinion. v.1

It is often said that to become a successful business a tertiary education is not at all necessary. Give your opinion. v. 1
Education is an important aspect of our career. Higher education not only helps in increasing the knowledge and experience of a person, but also gives a better career prospect. Whereas many argue that setting up a successful business also requires multiple degrees, I believe that a basic education and street smartness can also be enough. Firstly, the trend to attend the elite universities and business schools, has been set up by the well-off families. Although these universities are definitely helping its students to get an idea of the corporate world, according to me this still cannot be enough. For example, the son of a well known businessman failed to increase the profit of the family business, even after attending Oxford University. Hence, it is clear that there is more to a successful business, than just multiple degrees. Additionally, I feel that a good public and peer relationship, along with the ability to take corrective decision at the correct time can be a winning strategy for all businesses. For instance, a roadside tea shop in Kolkata has been expanding its business for the last 10 years and is now one of the most prestigious tea cafes of the world. The owner of the business has not even completed his basic school education, Thus, it proves that someone with practically no proper education in business and other related fields can also set up a successful business. To conclude, it is clear that years of experience can prove to be equivalent of millions of dollars worth education and sometimes can even surpass the latter. Higher education can definitely be an additional advantage for someone in understanding the business strategies, however can never become the only pathway to success. It is important to have other skills to continue a successful entrepreneurship.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of our career. Higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in increasing the knowledge and experience of a person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
gives a better career prospect. Whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
argue that setting up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
also
requires multiple degrees, I believe that a basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and street smartness can
also
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

Firstly
, the trend to attend the elite universities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
schools, has
been set
up by the well-off families. Although these universities are definitely helping its students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of the corporate world, according to me this
still
cannot be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
For example
, the son of a well known businessman failed to increase the profit of the family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, even after attending Oxford University.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there is more to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
multiple degrees.

Additionally
, I feel that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
public and peer relationship, along with the ability to take corrective decision at the correct time can be a winning strategy for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
.
For instance
, a roadside tea shop in Kolkata has been expanding its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
for the last 10 years and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
one of the most prestigious tea
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
of the world. The owner of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
has not even completed his basic school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
Thus
, it proves that someone with
practically
no proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and other related fields can
also
set up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
business.

To conclude
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that years of experience can prove to be equivalent of millions of dollars worth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
can even surpass the latter. Higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can definitely be an additional advantage for someone in understanding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
strategies,
however
can never become the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
pathway to success. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to continue a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
entrepreneurship.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay It is often said that to become a successful business a tertiary education is not at all necessary. Give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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