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It is said that day-by-day people’s lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What are the reasons behind that? What can be done to solve this problem? v.2

It is said that day-by-day people’s lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What are the reasons behind that? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 2
These days stress is a very common problem on people’s lives. There are several reasons or causes of why people have more stress these days. But unfortunately, there are not many ways to solve this problem. In my opinion, 80% of stress is caused by work or economic situation, but these two are not the only reasons, study, family problems or relationship are some of the possibilities of having stress. Why is work one of the reasons? In many aspects some people are not comfortable in their jobs; that can be related to the relationship with their boss, workmates, the environment of office or the kind of job they have to do there. Some others have excessive works or some others do not have a job at all, but all of these make feel people tired, bored and in some other cases worried and finally take the people to feel so stressful. The economic situations have an important role on the stress reasons; for example, people without work, people with a big family and small salary are always in stress because of the economic reason. Study is one of the popular reasons among the students of schools and universities. Some of their problems are excessive homework, relation with teachers and classmates, exams etc. But no matter what is the cause of the stress, it can be dangerous depending on the stress level one has. Some people get sick and the symptom can be different depending on the person. I think that a good therapy could be doing some yoga, going to the gym, having a good massage and why not go for a small break. In conclusion, we are humans and we need to rest sometimes from the routine, everything should be okay if we think positive and do not give the stress the power of being a part of our life.
These days
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stress
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common
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problem
on
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people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. There are several
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reasons
or causes of why
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people
have more
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stress
these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
unfortunately, there are not
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many
ways to solve this
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problem
. In my opinion, 80% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is caused
by
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work
or economic situation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these two are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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reasons
, study, family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
or relationship are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
possibilities of having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

Why is
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work
one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
? In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
are not comfortable in their jobs; that can
be related
to the relationship with their boss, workmates, the environment of office or the kind of job they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do there.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
others have excessive works or
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some
others do not have a job at all,
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but
all of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
feel
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people
tired, bored and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other cases worried and
finally
take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to feel
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so
stressful. The economic situations have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
;
for example
,
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people
without
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work
,
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people
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
family and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
salary are always in
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stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the economic
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reason
. Study is one of the popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
among the students of schools and universities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of their
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problems
are excessive homework, relation with teachers and classmates, exams etc.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
no matter what is the cause of the
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stress
, it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
depending on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
level one has.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick and the symptom can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
depending on the person.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
therapy could be doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
yoga, going to the gym, having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
massage and why not go for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
break.
In conclusion
, we are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
humans and
we need to rest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
from the routine, everything should be okay if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and do not give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
the power of being a part of our life.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is said that day-by-day people’s lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What are the reasons behind that? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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