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Students today can easily access information online so libraries are no longer necessary Do you agree or disagree v.1

Students today can easily access information online so libraries are no longer necessary v. 1
There is no doubt that these day education is extremely important, however, the question: Do teachers have to be paid based on their students' progress? Is being a controversial issue nowadays, while I tend to believe that teachers should receive the highest salaries in the country in order to encourage them to educate the coming generations as well. In this essay I am going to examine this phenomenon from both viewpoints. On one side of the argument, there are people who argue that pupils have to do assessment tests by the end of each semester to measure their teachers' efforts, so they can get promoted accordingly. Furthermore, this will help in creating a motivational environment for educators to provide children with the best learning. One good illustration here is the MAP testing, which is common in most schools in Kuwait. Some schools use this test to celebrate teachers' success and give them bonuses. On the other hand, it is also possible to consider it with the opposing case. Teachers have to get the best salaries because they are putting a lot of efforts to support children and build their personalities. Moreover, educators need to be appreciated by various ways because they spend about nine hours at school daily either in classes or on duties, so they are handling several stresses from students, parents and sometimes from the school management. For instance, the prime minister in China was asked once about the huge development in his country and his reply was that the country offered teachers excellent salaries and benefits and that was the reason to encourage them to produce and work professionally. In conclusion, as we have seen there is no easy answer to this question, however, I guess countries have to look at the abilities of teachers and offer them satisfactory payments in order to let them do their best in educating pupils. Several countries applied this and they received over expected results.
There is no doubt that
Did you mean "this day" or "these days"?
these day
education is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
however
, the question: Do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be paid
based on their students' progress? Is being a controversial issue nowadays, while I tend to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should receive the highest salaries in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in order to encourage them to educate the coming generations
as well
. In this essay I am going to examine this phenomenon from both viewpoints.

On one side of the argument, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who argue that pupils
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do assessment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of each semester to measure their teachers' efforts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
promoted
accordingly
.
Furthermore
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in creating a motivational environment for educators to provide children with the best learning. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration here is the MAP testing, which is common in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in Kuwait.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
to celebrate teachers' success and give them bonuses.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to consider it with the opposing case.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the best salaries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are putting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
efforts to support children and build their personalities.
Moreover
, educators need to
be appreciated
by various ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spend about nine hours at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
daily either in classes or on duties,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are handling several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
from students, parents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
management.
For instance
, the prime minister in China
was asked
once about the huge development in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and his reply was that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
offered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
excellent salaries and benefits and that was the reason to encourage them to produce and work
professionally
.

In conclusion
, as we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
there is no easy answer to this question,
however
, I guess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look at the abilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and offer them satisfactory payments in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them do their best in educating pupils. Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
applied this and they received over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
results.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Students today can easily access information online so libraries are no longer necessary v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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