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Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.14

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 14
It is considered by some people that criminals should always subject to fixed punishment for certain crimes, while there are others who think that the hidden stories behind the unpleasant acts of the accused people should be taken into consideration before inflicting suffering. On the one hand, giving a fixed torture would definitely make court proceedings a lot quicker. This is explained by the fact that the judges would not need to analyse the case and decide a specific type of retribution as it would have been already decided for them. Moreover, if felons know that there is severe and harsh discipline, even for small crimes, they are hindered and they would not attempt to commit any illegal act. Therefore, the crime rates would decrease significantly and thus a better society will be built. For instance, in Iran, the sanction of stealing is cutting the robber’s hand off no matter what had been stolen. On the other hand, it would make more sense if the judges decide a crime, according to the situation and the motive of it because it would ensure that the convict is given a fair trial and the right trial will be handed down to him. The majority of the incarcerated people had faced a problem in their life, such as childhood trauma, poverty, victimisation or mental illness. For instance, a mentally ill person who commits a murder would be judged accordingly, instead of being counted like any other lawbreaker. This would make the criminal justice system fair and balanced. All in all, I personally think that each crime should be assessed specifically as this is becoming a very convoluted and disconcerting problem nowadays. Living in a safe environment is not outside the realm of possibility. Actions need to be done.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that criminals should always subject to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
punishment for certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, while there are others who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the hidden stories behind the unpleasant acts of the accused
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be taken
into consideration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
inflicting suffering.

On the one hand, giving a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
torture would definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
court proceedings a lot quicker. This is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the fact that the judges would not need to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the case and decide a specific type of retribution as it would have been already decided for them.
Moreover
, if felons know that there is severe and harsh discipline, even for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, they are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hindered and
they would not attempt to commit any illegal act.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates would decrease
significantly
and
thus
a better society will
be built
.
For instance
, in Iran, the sanction of stealing is cutting the robber’s hand off no matter what had
been stolen
.

On the other hand
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more sense if the judges decide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, according to the situation and the motive of it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would ensure that the convict is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
trial and the right trial will
be handed
down to him. The majority of the incarcerated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had faced a problem in their life, such as childhood trauma, poverty,
Possible spelling mistake. 'victimisation' is British English.
victimisation
or mental illness.
For instance
, a mentally ill person who commits a murder would
be judged
accordingly
,
instead
of
being counted
like any other lawbreaker. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the criminal justice system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
and balanced.

All in all, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should
be assessed
specifically
as this is becoming a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convoluted and disconcerting problem nowadays. Living in a safe environment is not outside the realm of possibility. Actions need to
be done
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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