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Students should pay the full cost of their own university studies, rather than have free higher education provided by the state. v.6

Students should pay the full cost of their own university studies, rather than have free higher education provided by the state. v. 6
Education is a possession which makes a person stand tall and high. It adds to the overall physical personality of the person and makes him stand apart and outshines others who don’t possess it. Education is an eternal rock which never withers, not even during the wild waves of evil. It is only education which makes people bow in front of the educated and is one of the moral fabrics of any country which binds the whole society into one nation. It is due to this high pedestal which the education occupies that higher education must be provided by the State, albeit to those subjects of the state who are economically weak. There are, however, two schools of thought. One school of thought is of the view that the cost of higher studies should be borne by the students themselves. However, in such a scenario, all those meritorious students who are unable to continue their education for want of money (read economic resources) would be left with no option but to get themselves tagged as ‘drop outs’ by the society, due to no fault of theirs. ‘No student should be left deprived of education’ must be one of the objectives (read fundamental duty) of every Nation/State. On the other hand, a student who thrives for education must be wholeheartedly supported by the Nation/State. No stone must be left unturned to make available the most precious of the stones, i. e. the education, to the student. It is so because education is something which is dearer than the fine opals, more precious than emeralds! There’ve been quite a lot instances in the recent past, and even now, wherein the entire cost of higher studies of a student is sponsored by the State. The recent example which supports this is the educational sponsorship which was provided by the state government of ABC (a country) to the son of a widower who earns her livelihood by cleaning utensils at a roadside restaurant. It can thus be candidly concluded that education does elevate the horizon and encourages the mankind to labour at present for accruing enjoyment at a later stage in life. Consequently, the state must take responsibility, to a certain extent and for a certain set of individuals based on economic criteria to provide them with free higher education opportunities. This, in return, would only help the State/Nation to become independent and economically stable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is a possession which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
a person stand tall and high. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
to the
overall
physical personality of the person and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
him stand apart and outshines others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
don’t possess it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is an eternal rock which never withers, not even during the wild waves of evil. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
bow in front of the educated and is one of the moral fabrics of any country which binds the whole society into one nation.

It is due to this high pedestal which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
occupies that higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provided
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
State
, albeit to those subjects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
economically
weak.

There are,
however
, two schools of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
. One school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is of the view that the cost of higher studies should
be borne
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
themselves.
However
, in such a scenario, all those meritorious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are unable to continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for want of money (read economic resources) would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with no option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
themselves tagged as ‘
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
drop outs
’ by the society, due to no fault of theirs. ‘No
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
deprived of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be one of the objectives (read fundamental duty) of every Nation/State.

On the other hand
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
thrives for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
wholeheartedly
supported by the Nation/State. No stone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
unturned to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
available the most precious of the stones,
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is something which is dearer than the fine opals, more precious than emeralds!

There’ve been quite
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of instances"?
a lot instances
in the recent past, and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, wherein the entire cost of higher studies of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is sponsored
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
State
. The recent example which supports this is the educational sponsorship which
was provided
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of ABC (a country) to the son of a widower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
earns her livelihood by cleaning utensils at a roadside restaurant.

It can
thus
be
candidly
concluded that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
does elevate the horizon and encourages the mankind to
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
at present for accruing enjoyment at a later stage in life.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take responsibility, to a certain extent and for a certain set of individuals based on economic criteria to provide them with free higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
opportunities. This, in return, would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the State/Nation to become independent and
economically
stable.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Students should pay the full cost of their own university studies, rather than have free higher education provided by the state. v. 6

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
401 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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