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Students should pay the full cost of their own university studies, rather than have free higher education provided by the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

It is argued that the community funds should not be given to students for their University studies, and pupils must be responsible to deposit their full fees. The advocates of the above-mentioned notion believe that the higher education provides more advantages to an individual then the whole community. I plainly disagree with the given statement because several highly paid professionals pay higher taxes which contributes to the growth of a nation, and secondly less privileged children require monetary aid in higher studies to prove their usefulness for the society. Firstly, the students who become Doctors, Engineers, and Architects after completing the University education, pay a huge amount of money as tax to the government. In other words, a significant part of their income is utilised in the form of tax for the development of a country. Therefore, educating a person does not only benefits him/her but the whole Society. For instance, according to a survey by the University of Solan in 2017 in India, it was revealed that engineers and doctors have to pay 10% of their salary as profession tax to government. Similarly, there are numerous students who are less fortunate and cannot pay their fees for higher studies. This is to say that a student who is talented, but not stable financially, require help in his/her education. As a consequence, with their capabilities, such students may benefit the community after the completion of their higher studies. To exemplify, the government of India provides full scholarship to the students from economically weaker section, which may eventually benefit the whole Nation. To conclude, I disagree that students should not receive funding from the society for higher education since their education is less advantageous for the community. However, during high-paid jobs erned upon the completion of University studies, people aid in generating revenue for a country. Moreover, less fortunate students need financial aid in education to become useful for their country.
It
is argued
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
funds should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, and pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be responsible to deposit their full fees. The advocates of the above-mentioned notion believe that the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
provides more advantages to an individual then the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. I
plainly
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
several
highly
paid professionals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
which contributes to the growth of a nation, and
secondly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
privileged children require monetary aid in higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
to prove their usefulness for the society.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who become Doctors, Engineers, and Architects after completing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
a huge amount of money as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
In other words
, a significant part of their income is
Possible spelling mistake. ‘utilised’ is British English.
utilised
in the form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
for the development of a country.
Therefore
, educating a person does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
The auxiliary verb ‘do’ requires the base form of the verb: “benefit”
benefits
him/her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the whole Society.
For instance
, according to a survey by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Solan
in 2017 in India, it
was revealed
that engineers and doctors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
10% of their salary as profession
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Similarly
, there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
fortunate and cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
their fees for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. This is to say that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who
is talented
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not stable
financially
, require
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. As a consequence, with their capabilities, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
after the completion of their higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. To exemplify, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of India provides full scholarship to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from
economically
weaker section, which may
eventually
benefit the whole Nation.

To conclude
, I disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should not receive funding from the society for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
since their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
advantageous for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
However
, during high-paid jobs
Possible spelling mistake found.
erned
upon the completion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aid in generating revenue for a country.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
fortunate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need financial aid in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to become useful for their country.
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IELTS essay University students should pay in full for their own education instead of the society funding their studies. The reason is that individuals tend to benefit after graduation more than society. Give your own opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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