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Students should pay the full cost of their own university studies, rather than have free higher education provided by the state. v.5

Students should pay the full cost of their own university studies, rather than have free higher education provided by the state. v. 5
Free tertiary education has always sparks heated debates all over the world. I, personally, completely disagree that higher education cost should be born by students because that would prevent the waste of talent resource and also it is a form investment for the government in the long run. When higher education comes with a cost, it creates an inefficient allocation of the human resource. This is because when there is a financial constraint, some students from the less privileged background are forced to choose the courses that either is not too costly or have good employability prospects and not necessarily courses that the students want most or are best at. As a result, for example, instead of being an excellent artist, the student can only be a mediocre accountant because he cannot utilise all his potential in his chosen field, causing a waste of talent; free higher education can prevent this problem. The second reason why tertiary education should be free is because if the government chooses not to spend money on free education, they will see rising expenditures in other areas. For example, a less educated workforce bears a higher risk of unemployment in the economic downturn, and thus the government’s coffers for unemployment aid would need to increase. Furthermore, unskilled labour earns much less than college-educated people do, and thus they contribute less income tax i. e. less revenue for the government. Not to mention, the highly skilled population is essential to any country’s economic growth in the long run. In conclusion, because free education allows students to learn what they enjoy most and are best at, it can ensure better allocation of the human resource. Furthermore, free education can reduce unemployment cost in the economic downturn, increase government’s tax revenue, and increase economic growth in the long run. Thus, I completely disagree that students should pay for their higher education.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Free
tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has always sparks heated debates all over the world. I,
personally
, completely disagree that higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
cost should
be born
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the waste of talent resource and
also
it is a form investment for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in the long run.

When higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with a cost, it creates an inefficient allocation of the human resource. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when there is a financial constraint,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
privileged background
are forced
to choose the courses that either is not too costly or have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
employability prospects and not
necessarily
courses that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
want most or are best at.
As a result
,
for example
,
instead
of being an excellent artist, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be a mediocre accountant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he cannot
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
all his potential in his chosen field, causing a waste of talent;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this problem.

The second reason why tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
chooses not to spend money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
rising expenditures in other areas.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
educated workforce bears a higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of unemployment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
downturn, and
thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
coffers for unemployment aid would need to increase.
Furthermore
, unskilled
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
earns much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than college-educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do, and
thus
they contribute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
income tax
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
revenue for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. Not to mention, the
highly
skilled population is essential to any country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth in the long run.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn what they enjoy most and are best at, it can ensure better allocation of the human resource.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
unemployment cost in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
downturn, increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
tax revenue, and increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth in the long run.
Thus
, I completely disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should pay for their higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Students should pay the full cost of their own university studies, rather than have free higher education provided by the state. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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