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Students should be primarily taught academic subjects so that they can pass exams, and practical skills such as cooking should not be taught. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Students should be primarily taught academic subjects so that they can pass exams, and practical skills such as cooking should not be taught. v. 1
There is a common belief that schools should focus more on academic subjects and less on the practical skills of a student. I totally disagree with this opinion and I think that children should be taught basic skills such cooking at schools. I will support my view with valid arguments in the following paragraphs. There is no doubt that academic subjects such as mathematics and science should be given more importance in the academic curriculum. These subjects help children develop logic and understand the world around them. Additionally, academic knowledge is a good basis for a future career. However, not every student will pursue a career in science and each of them will need to cook at some stage of their life. For example, after graduated from faculty, many students move out of their parents’ house and start living by themselves. In such situations, those young people who have never fried an egg face serious difficulties. If they had learned cooking at university, this could have been avoided. Cooking is not only a survival skill, but it is also fundamental for health and wellbeing. According to research, the people who know cooking and practice it on a daily basis have a lower risk of diabetes and colon cancer than the people who do not know how to cook and prefer to eat fast food. Children should learn how to prepare healthy and nutritious meal for themselves and the university should help them gain this skill. Every institution should have classes where children have an opportunity to learn simple recipes and under the teacher’s supervision. From my personal experience, when I went to educational institution away from my home, I learned how to make some foods at the institute and I appreciate this experience because it helps me now. In conclusion, I believe that the academy should take the responsibility to educate children on some practical activities such as food preparation. Although academic knowledge is absolutely necessary for a modern human being, cooking is a survival skill and a protective factor against some health issues.
There is a common belief that schools should focus more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
subjects and less on the practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of a student. I
totally
disagree with this opinion and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such cooking at schools. I will support my view with valid arguments in the following paragraphs.

There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
subjects such as mathematics and science should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more importance in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
curriculum. These subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
develop logic and understand the world around them.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
knowledge is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
basis for a future career.
However
, not every student will pursue a career in science and each of them will need to cook at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stage of their life.
For example
, after graduated from faculty,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out of their parents’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
living by themselves. In such situations, those young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have never fried an egg face serious difficulties. If they had learned cooking at university, this could have
been avoided
.

Cooking is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a survival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
fundamental for health and
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
. According to research, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who know cooking and practice it on a daily basis have a lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of diabetes and colon cancer than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do not know how to cook and prefer to eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should learn how to prepare healthy and nutritious meal for themselves and the university should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them gain this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
. Every institution should have classes where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have an opportunity to learn simple recipes and under the teacher’s supervision. From my personal experience, when I went to educational institution away from my home, I learned how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
foods at the institute and I appreciate this experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

In conclusion
, I believe that the academy should take the responsibility to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical activities such as food preparation. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
knowledge is
absolutely
necessary for a modern human being, cooking is a survival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and a protective factor against
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health issues.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Students should be primarily taught academic subjects so that they can pass exams, and practical skills such as cooking should not be taught. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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